


There's Only Good Things Ahead of Us Now, Kev

by ESawyer



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Friendship, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Kevin has a praise kink, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Post-Uganda (Book of Mormon Musical), Smut, happy ending I promise, tw: anxiety, tw: depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-07-08 20:44:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 30,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19875814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ESawyer/pseuds/ESawyer
Summary: Elder Price had never been a real person.He had never been anything more than a character that Kevin Price wore the costume of everyday just because it was his safest option. But safe had become very boring, very quickly. And Uganda had proved that to him. Of course, Uganda had not always been completely safe. Often feeling like the exact opposite, in fact, but it had shown him that there was more to life than being Elder Price. Life could be experienced in a much better way when he wasn’t wearing a perfectly crisp shirt and shoes that were, quite frankly, uncomfortable.(Or, Kevin and Arnold move to San Diego without knowing that Connor has done the exact same thing)





	1. A Perfectly Crisp Shirt and Shoes That Were, Quite Frankly, Uncomfortable.

Elder Price had never been a real person. 

He had never been anything more than a character that Kevin Price wore the costume of everyday just because it was his safest option. But safe had become very boring, very quickly. And Uganda had proved that to him. Of course, Uganda had not always been completely safe. Often feeling like the exact opposite, in fact, but it had shown him that there was more to life than being Elder Price. Life could be experienced in a much better way when he wasn’t wearing a perfectly crisp shirt and shoes that were, quite frankly, uncomfortable. 

That wasn’t really the case when he got back to Salt Lake City, though. Where life was best experienced whilst wearing a perfectly crisp shirt and shoes that are, quite frankly, uncomfortable. Not that he was even allowed to wear that uniform anymore. He had brought the utmost shame on his family, and they didn’t seem afraid to tell him that when he returned from Uganda two years later. He had hoped that the whole ‘Book of Arnold’ thing would have blown over by the time he got home, but that had just been wishful thinking. 

The Price family gathered in the dining room, where all family meetings were held; sometimes they discussed the simple things, like what they were having for dinner that evening or where they were going to go away for the weekend. The last time Kevn had been in the dining room for a family meeting, they had been discussing his going on a mission. This time, he was quite sure they were going to be discussing him getting disowned. Though he was not quite sure he would have much say in the matter. 

Kevin sat in usual seat and let his father shout like he had never heard him shout before. His mother did so anything, she just sat at the table with her head in her hands. Kevin's brother, Jack, sat next to her with his hand on her shoulder, glaring at his older brother. Somehow, that was worse than their father shouting. His two other siblings had been told to stay upstairs, but Kevin was almost certain that they were listening in as closely as possible. He wished they wouldn't, though. Maybe then they wouldn't be brainwashed into thinking that he was an evil monster. 

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done to this family?” his father thundered, “the shame that you’ve brought on us? On _yourself_?”

Kevin did not reply. He focused on a point just above his father's head and wondered how long it would be before the ground swallowed him up so he could fall into hell and get it out of the way. 

When he had first left for Uganda, he really had thought that he was going to make a difference. He had not expected for it to go so wrong, and he had certainly not expected this to be his welcome home. Part of him wished that he had just begged to go to Orlando after all, but the other part of him was glad he had stayed. Really, they had achieved more than even his over-inflated ego could have dreamed up. It was just a shame that the Church could not see what he could. 

“Are you even listening to me, boy?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Kevin said in a monotone voice, “you’re not going to accept my apology,” 

“Because I don’t think you are sorry!” He yelled, slamming his hand onto the table. 

Kevin jumped. It was too much like a gunshot. He wondered if his parents would care about the nightmares that he had. 

“I’ve tried to be the perfect son my entire life. I’d even say I  _ was _ the perfect son, but I can’t do it! Not anymore! I don’t even - I don’t even believe!”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

His mother gave an almighty gasp and slumped forward onto the table, sobbing. Kevin sighed and sat back in his seat, loosening his tie. He had worn it home to try and keep up appearances, but it had not really gone. The first thing that his father had said to him was the he was not fit to wear the uniform of an Elder. Kevin agreed, but it didn’t make him feel any better about the whole situation. 

“You don’t believe?” his father asked, his voice a deadly whisper, “in - in what? Heavenly Father?”

Kevin nodded. 

“ _ Out _ !” his father hissed, “get out of this house! If you don’t believe-” his voice softened, “How can you not believe?”

“Things happened in Uganda that changed me,” Kevin said, “things that...things that Heavenly Father would have stopped if he truly existed!”

For a moment, Kevin could feel the General’s rough hands on him as he forced him to bend over. He could still feel the burn, and every time, he felt like he was going to die. Sometimes he wished that he did. 

_ “Out.” _

Kevin did not need telling twice. His unpacked bag was still sat at his feet. Elder McKinley had been kind enough to lend him a bag when they were leaving. Kevin had never had the chance to thank his District Leader for all that he had done, and had never properly apologised for everything that had happened. 

The reality of his situation hit him the moment the front door slammed shut behind him. There had been a stupid, naive part of him that had hoped his parents would not kick him out. After the whole excommunication thing, there had not been practically no contact between himself and his family. Kevin had just put this down to terrible phone signal and not the fact that they would want nothing to do with him. 

He stood on the porch for a few minutes, bag in one had and a Book of Mormon on the other. He had picked it up off the side out of habit. He looked down at it for a moment and then dropped it onto the floor. 

“Hasa Diga Eebowai,” he muttered, glancing up at the sky. 

If Heavenly Father was real, Kevin prayed that He was listening. 


	2. Burning From the Inside Out

Connor McKinley had been reduced to the same shell of a human that he had been after he had finished his therapy. 

He sat in a shelter for homeless youth and stared at the ground, tears stinging his eyes. Really, he shouldn’t have been surprised that his family had kicked him out the moment he got off the plane. Having a gay kid was one thing, but having gay kid who had brought shame on the Church was another thing entirely. There was no conversion therapy for District Leaders who could not control the missionaries in their district. Part of Connor wished that there was. 

He had managed to turn being gay off, so why could he not turn off being a terrible Mormon?

And yet, there was a small part of him that he knew that he had never turned it off. He just wasn’t quite ready to admit that to himself. Perhaps he would never be ready, and perhaps that would be OK. 

All he knew was that he needed to get away, so he moved away from his family. To San Diego, to be precise. There was not a large Mormon population there and that was exactly what he needed. He had no idea what he thought about the Church anymore. All he knew was that he was not nearly as devout as he once was. Maybe he didn’t believe in anything. 

“Connor?”

He looked up to see one of the volunteers, Kathy, smiling at him. 

“Yes?”

“You have a job interview!” she said brightly, “it’s a little book shop, but it should pay well!”

“Great. When is it?”

When he got the job, he was happy. When he finally moved into his own place, he was happy. But none of it felt real. He didn’t feel as though he was really living his life. He felt as though he was walking in the shoes of another person. Maybe now he really had the chance to find out who he was, but he couldn’t seem to shake old habits; he woke up at 6:30 AM and was always home before 9:30 PM. His room was still immaculate and every morning he styled his hair in a way that was acceptable for a missionary. And a Book of Mormon sat on his bedside table. 

Connor spent a lot of his free time with the Book resting on his lap. He never opened it, he just stared at it. There was a time in his life when he had looked after the Book more than he had looked after himself. He always ended up putting the Book back on his table and picking up the Book of Arnold, but even that didn’t bring as much joy as it used to. It was nothing more than a symbol of the biggest mess up in his life. He kept both books side by side next to his bed, praying that one day, he would have the guts to open one of them. 

Leaving the Church had brought about one big change in his life: he had started having...thoughts again. Whenever he lay in bed, his mind would wander to Steve, and the shame would course through his body like wildfire, burning him from the inside out. He knew he should hate it, but he found that he never tried to stop it. He just let it happen, and he hated himself for it. 

“Turn it off,” he whispered to himself, tears blurring his vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!


	3. Let's Go to San Diego

“Why do you want to move to San Diego again?” Kevin asked Arnold, somewhat exasperatedly. 

“Because...because...I’ve heard great things!”

Kevin frowned at him. 

“Naba is going to college there, isn’t she?”

Arnold’s silence told him everything. Ever since Naba had won a scholarship to the University of San Diego, Arnold had not shut up about going. 

Still, Kevin was in no place to complain about Arnold. He had been lucky enough to not have his parents disown him and had even taken the fact that he was agnostic (bordering on atheist) quite well. They had even been kind enough to allow Kevin to move in with them for a while. He had been working a shitty job in a shitty cafe whilst Arnold had been working an equally shitty job in an equally shitty restaurant in the hopes that they could cobble enough money to move out. 

Five months later - with some help from the Cunninghams - they finally had enough. 

“You want to get away from Salt Lake City though don’t you?” Arnold asked. 

“More than anything!”

“So, lets go to San Diego!”

Despite himself, Kevin grinned. 

“Lets go to San Diego,”

Getting to San Diego was difficult. Kevin somehow managed to book their tickets for two completely different days and it took Mr Cunnigham a long time to sort this out over the phone. Arnold then had a small panic attack when he opened the wrong drawer and found one of his old name tags. It took Kevin a long time to calm him down, repeating over and over again that he didn’t need to worry about the Church anymore, it was all in the past. Now, they had the future to look forward to. 

One thing that Kevin was not prepared for was how hard it would be to watch Arnold say goodbye to his parents at the airport. Whilst living at Arnold’s, Kevin had struggled with watching the Cunninghams showing Arnold any sort of affection. For years, Kevin had been the golden child who could no wrong. His teachers never said a bad word about him, and everyone in the Church all said that he was going to go far. 

But no one praised him more than his parents. 

He knew that this why they had reacted so badly to the mission going so wrong, because Kevin had never done anything wrong in his life (donut incident aside, of course). It explained why Arnold’s parents had reacted to it so well...he had achieved something incredible, something that they had never believed their son would be able to do. 

Still, Kevin wanted nothing more than his parents forgiveness and their acceptance of his lack of faith. He spent a lot of his days muttering the same verse over and over to himself, as though his parents could somehow hear him and realise that they should forgive him. 

_ “Ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” _

He scoffed quietly as the verse rolled around his brain. It was all such bullshit, and he could not understand how he could have believed in any of it. 

“Are you, uh, are you ready, Arn?” Kevin asked, trying not to look too upset as he watched Mrs Cunningham hug her son tightly. 

Arnold frowned at him but nodded. 

“Ready when you are!”

The flight to San Diego was just under 2 hours, and Kevin was sure that he and Arnold were annoying every other passenger on the plane, but he found that he didn’t really care. One of the few good things about being a Mormon was that embarrassment was a thing that was rarely felt; you couldn’t be embarrassed when knocking on strangers doors and talking about Jesus Christ. 

“When are you meeting Naba?” Kevin asked, stifling a yawn. 

“Tomorrow!” Arnold said cheerfully, “We’re going on a coffee date!”

Kevin smiled at his best friend. He was happy for him, of course, but he couldn’t help but feel a stab of jealousy. His entire life he had been so focused on studying scripture and becoming the perfect Mormon that he had never found the time to find a girlfriend. Whenever he was asked about his love life, usually by nosy family members, he would just shrug and say he wasn’t looking for anyone at the moment. They would always tell him that eventually, he would find the perfect Mormon girl to marry. He just didn’t feel like he would ever find the perfect girl, because he wasn’t sure he even found girls attractive...he pushed that thought from his head almost as soon as it entered his brain. He didn’t want to think about what his brain was trying to think about. 

“You alright, bud?” Arnold asked, nudging him in the side. 

Kevin nodded and smiled at him. 

“Yeah,” he replied, “just...thinking...about...you know...”

“There’s only good things ahead of us now, Kev,” Arnold said gently, “I’m sure of it.”

\---

Kevin sat on the couch in their too-small apartment whilst Arnold ran around like a headless chicken. He was panicking about seeing Naba again, convinced that she would not like him outside of Uganda. Kevin did not really understand this logic, but considering he had barely even kissed someone, he wasn’t going to pretend to understand relationships. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come today?” Arnold asked, cramming his wallet into his trousers, “Nutella really wants to see you!”

Kevin smiled at the nickname. Arnold  _ could  _ say her name, he just chose not to. Kevin assumed that Naba found it endearing. 

“Honestly, Arn, I don’t feel like third wheeling,” 

“Then you need to find someone so we can go on double dates!”

“All I want to do right now is to find a job,” Kevin said firmly, “a job and then a girlf - a job and then someone,”

If Arnold noticed him stumbling over the word girlfriend, he did not say anything. He just waved goodbye and hurried out of the apartment. 

The silence of the apartment soon because deafening and Kevin busied himself in anyway that he could; job hunting, unpacking their things and cleaning things that didn’t actually need to be cleaned. By the time lunch had rolled around, he was quite sure he was going mad and ventured outside. 

Stack of resumes in one hand, Kevin strolled around Downtown San Diego, handing his resume to people he was sure would never read it. It was not a particularly fun way to spend his afternoon, but he didn’t really have many options. 

On his way back home, he stumbled across a book shop that was hiring. Just as he placed his hand on the door to walk in, he noticed a tiny pride flag sticker on the window. His cheeks suddenly feeling very hot, Kevin staggered away from the door and turned his back on the shop. 

He wasn’t ready for that. Not quite yet. 

There was a coffee shop across the road from the book shop. Mercifully, there was not a single pride flag in place and the manager, Stacey, seemed quite keen to hire another barista. She even seemed quite impressed by the whole ex-Mormon Missionary sent to Uganda thing. Kevin declined to tell her that they had all been thrown out of the Church. 

“I’ll be in touch, Kevin,” she grinned, “Is that alright?”

“Yeah!” Kevin said, “Yeah. That’s fine,” 

“See you around,  _ Elder Price _ ,” 

Kevin forced a laugh and tried to act like that name didn’t make him want to throw himself in the sea. If he got the job and his co-workers started calling him that, he wasn’t sure he would last there very long. He supposed that he probably could have a quiet work with Stacey about it, but he had not been raised in an environment where talking about feelings was something that was often encouraged. 

When he left the coffee shop, his eyes were drawn to the book shop. The pride flag seemed to be shining brighter than any other sticker on the door. Kevin stood and stared at it for a while, his heart beating wildly out of control. He couldn’t understand how people could see that flag and not run in the opposite direction.

“Turn it off,” he muttered to himself as images of him carrying the flag began to creep into his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading, and thank-you to anyones who's left kudos or comments, it's always appreciated! 
> 
> <3


	4. Trousers That Are Most Definitely Sinful

Kevin Price was in San Diego.

This was quite alarming for Connor for a number of reasons. They had always had a rather strange relationship in Uganda; Connor could never quite work out if Elder Price actually liked him or just tolerated him. He knew that he had not made a great impression with his whole “turn it off” thing and was often plagued with guilt because he knew (better than anyone) how harmful that mentality is.

Most importantly though, Elder Price was the reason that Connor found it so difficult to turn it off. They had shared... _moments_ together that always left Connor feeling confused, and he had never quite had the courage to ask Price what the heck was going on. He still beat himself up about the fact that he had never asked his fellow Elder exactly what was going on before thy left Uganda.

And he was still annoyingly attractive. 

Connor had been sorting out a bookcase at the very back of the shop when he glanced up and saw Elder Price stood outside the shop, his hand on the door. At first, Connor thought that he was going to come in, but he had staggered away from the door as though it had hurt him and hurried away. Connor thought that this might have been because Price had seen him, but the shop was quite dark and he was stood too far away from the door.

Somehow, he was more attractive without his Elder uniform. He had been wearing a plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up, exposing his forearms that were still tan from the bright Ugandan sun. His trousers clung to him in a way that was most definitely sinful and his hair...oh, his _hair!_ Connor had always appreciated how nearly Elder Price could style his hair, but it was one million times more attractive unstyled and falling perfectly across his forehead. Connor would have liked nothing more than to his hands though it for days at a time.

“No,” he whispered to himself, “Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off...”

For the rest of the day, Connor could think of nothing but Kevin Price. Why was he in San Diego? What had put him off coming into the shop? Had he seen Connor? How long was he going to be in San Diego?

“You alright, Connor?”

Connor jumped and turned around to see his manager, Brendon, staring at him.

“F-Fine,” Connor stuttered, his cheeks going red, “I just - I’m tired,”

“You can go home if you want,” Brendon told him, with what sounded like a hint of worry in his voice, “there’s not going to be a lot going on here today,”

Connor thanked him and practically ran from the shop. As he walked home, he kept on glancing over his shoulder as though Elder Price was going to appear besides him. Part of him hoped that he would. But the other part knew better; it was quite naive to think that they could ever be friends outside of Africa. They were only friends because circumstances had pushed them together. In the five months since they had gotten back, Connor had not spoken to anyone from the mission.

Elder Price probably wouldn’t want anything to do with him, anyway. It seemed that not people wanted anything to do with him.

Connor tried to keep himself busy, but that was quite difficult when you lived alone and had practically no one to text. He flicked through the television channels for a while, but there was nothing worthwhile to watch. There never was. Connor was starting to realise that there wasn’t anything worthwhile to do. Ever. It really was quite a depressing existence.

Later that night, when Connor was laying in bed, his mind wandered back to Uganda.

_Connor couldn’t sleep. He could never sleep, too terrified of the Hell dream that he would no doubt have. He couldn’t actually remember the last time he had not been plagued by a dream about eternal damnation. The dreams had not been helped by the excommunication, either._

_In a desperate attempt to fight off the inevitable Hell dream, Connor got out of bed and crept past Poptarts bed, not wanting to wake him. He did not feel like trying to have a conversation with a half-asleep Poptarts. Those conversations were usually more painful than the dreams._

_“Elder McKinley?”_

_Connor almost leapt out of his skin when he stepped foot into the kitchen. Elder Price stood leaning against the counter, shirtless._

_“E-Elder Price!” Connor exclaimed, “What are you - what are you doing awake? And you’re not - you’re not wearing a shirt!”_

_Price looked down at his chest and shrugged. Connor couldn’t help but notice how toned he was._

_“It’s too hot to sleep with a shirt,” he shrugged, “not that I’d sleep if it wasn’t boiling,”_

_Connor raised his eyebrows at him._

_“Could that have something to do with all the coffee you drink?”_

_Elder Price laughed, and the sound did something strange to Connor. He suddenly felt very light._

_“Probably,” Price sighed, “I won’t bother you much longer. I’ll get going,”_

_Connor was not entirely sure what possessed him to reach out and grab Price’s arm, pulling him back towards him._

_“No. You don’t have to go to bed because of me,”_

_Elder Price looked him dead in the eye, and Connor could have sworn that he started leaning in before straightening up again._

_“I should try and get some sleep. I’m teaching at the school with Arnold tomorrow,”_

_“Of course,” Connor said quietly, “Good night, Elder,”_

_“Sweet dreams, Elder McKinley,”_

_Connor did not have a sweet dream that night, but it was made slightly easier by the presence of a shirtless Elder Price._


	5. I’ll Give You My Name If You Give Me Your Number

“So, you got the job?” Naba asked him excitedly. 

Kevin raised his eyebrows at her.

“No, I’m just stood behind the counter and asking for your coffee order because I’m bored,”

Naba laughed and clapped her hands together, “I am so happy for you, Kevin!”

“Thanks,” he said, smiling, “but I do need to take your order because there are people getting really angry behind you,”

She looked behind her at the queue of angry people and grimaced slightly. 

“Arnold and I want those cold coffees you made for us in Uganda,”

“Iced Coffees?”

“Yes! Them!”

Kevin smiled and scribbled her order down. Even in the height of the Ugandan summer, Kevin had wanted to drink coffee. It had been less about needing caffeine and more about rebelling against a Church that he wasn’t even apart of. He had made himself an iced coffee on a whim after Elder Thomas had finally gotten the freezer working again and discovered there wasn’t anything quite as refreshing as ice cold coffee. And soon, the entire village had been turned onto the joy that was iced coffees. 

For the entire time that Arnold and Naba were in the coffee shop, Kevin couldn’t help but watch them holding hands across the table. It made him feel lonely. It was becoming more and more apparent that his religion had served as a void for his lack of relationships - he couldn’t go on dates because he was too busy studying the scripture. He didn’t have a girlfriend because he wanted to wait until marriage like all good Mormons did.

He was more than aware of the fact that he didn’t have a girlfriend because he would much rather have a boyfriend but was not prepared to confront this fact head on. Every now and then, his eyes would flick up to the book shop across the road and he would stare at the pride flag. There was a big gay community in San Diego, but Kevin had gone out of his way to avoid it in the few weeks that he had been living there. Everyday on the way to work, he passed the ‘LGBTQ+ Support Centre’ and everyday, he hurried passed it and did his best not to look at it. It was the type of building that his father would have tutted at had he passed it. 

“Um, excuse me? Are you there?” 

Kevin’s blinked and came out of his reverie. There was a customer stood in front of him, looking quite confused. 

“Sorry,” Kevin muttered, “I was miles away,” 

The customer laughed and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Don’t worry, pal,” 

Kevin found himself staring again, his mouth hanging open slightly because good  _ Lord  _ this man was attractive. 

“Can I - um - can I...can I take your order?”

“Yeah, can I get an Iced Vanilla Latte, please?”

Kevin nodded and hurriedly scribbled his order down. If it weren’t for the fact that there was such a long line, Kevin might have slowed down everything that he was doing so that he could talk to him for longer. 

“Can I take your name?”

“I’ll give you my name if you give me your number,” 

“Huh?”

The customer suddenly turned bright red, “Sorry! I thought you were - I thought you were gay,” he laughed and shook his head, “How embarassing. I’m Brian,”

“No!” Kevin said hastily, “No, you can have my number,” 

Brian beamed. 

Kevin was distracted for the rest of his shift. He barely listened to the customers and kept on messing orders up. There was one part of him that was thrilled to have actually given someone his number, but there was another part - the strict Mormon part - that was yelling about how he was definitely going to hell now. 

He was beginning to think that moving away from Salt Lake City was a bad idea. He should have just begged to be let back into the Church. At least then he wouldn’t have to be faced with pride flags and really attractive men who wanted to ask him out. If he were still a Mormon, he could have forced himself into the life that his parents always wanted. He could have just made himself find a good Mormon girl and married her and have too many babies. He could have become the Elder Price that he was meant to become. 

“You alright, buddy?” Arnold asked when Kevin joined him and Naba at the end of his shift, “you look...worried,”

“I’m fine,” Kevin muttered, “it’s been a weird day. I think I’m just going to head home,”

“Alright, do you mind if we walk Newt Gingrich back to-”

“Rule 72 isn’t a thing anymore, bud, I can go home on my own,” Kevin reminded him, clapping him on the back, “don’t let me ruin your date,”

“Sometimes I forget,” Arnold admitted, “do you still find yourself falling back into old habits?”

“All the time,” Kevin said whilst the words “turn it off” echoed through his mind. 

Kevin knew he was going to have a Hell dream before he fell asleep. Since the excommunication, they had become much more frequent but this didn’t stop them from being any more harrowing. 

_ It was dark. Too dark. Kevin could not even see his hand when he held it up in front of his face. Sometimes he thought he could feel someone breathing down his neck, but when he whirled around and held his hands up in front of him, there was no one there.  _

_ There was a burst of light behind him and he spun around. Brian from the Coffee Shop was stood there, his arms folded.  _

_ “You don’t understand do you, Kevin?” _

_ “What?” Kevin asked, “I don’t understand,” _

_ “I’m just a test sent by Heavenly Father,” Brian replied, “a test that you failed. You’re not meant to give into sin or temptation!” _

_ “I - It’s not a sin!” Kevin exclaimed, balling his fists up as tears threatened to spill, “why should it be a sin?” _

_ There was another burst of light and none other than Elder McKinley appeared besides Brian. This wasn’t too much of a surprise to Kevin. McKinley was always in his Hell dreams.  _

_ “Of course it’s a sin, Elder,” McKinley said, “why else would we be told to turn it off?” _

_ “I’m sorry!” Kevin shouted, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have given him my number! Oh, Heavenly Father, please, please forgive me! I won’t do it again! I won’t! I won’t give into temptation and sin again! Please, Lord, please! I want another chance! I can prove to you that I can follow the rules! Please!” _

_ The ground beneath Kevin’s feet opened up and he became weightless as he fell towards the fiery pits of Hell.  _

“NO!” 

Kevin sat bolt upright in bed, he raised a shaking hand to his forehead and rubbed it, squeezing his eyes shut. He wasn’t sure how many more Hell dreams he could take. 

His phone buzzed and he rolled over onto his side to grab it from the floor. 

_ 1-2022-55-0195 - Hey. It’s Brian :) _

He blocked the number before he even had the chance to think about texting back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!


	6. Elder Beautiful Brown Eyes

Connor could not stop thinking about Elder Price.

He kept on hoping that they would accidentally bump into each other. Not that he knew what they would even talk about. All they used to talk about in Uganda was what jobs Connor was assigning Price. 

_“Who’s going to the school this week?” Price asked, bursting into his office._

_“I don’t know yet,” Connor replied, shuffling through the papers on his desk, “I haven’t gotten around to-”_

_“Can I go?”_

_Connor sighed and looked up at Price._

_“You went last week,”_

_“I know,” Price said, “but it’s my favourite thing to do! And all the kids love the Book of Arnold!”_

_“OK,” Connor replied, writing Price’s name onto the schedule under the title ‘school’, “You can take Poptarts with you,”_

_Price cracked a smile and Connor’s heart did a somersault in his chest._

_“The person or the food?”_

_“Whichever one you want, Elder,”_

_Price looked thoughtful for a moment._

_“Can I take both?”_

_“If you want. I’m sure Elder Poptarts will have some, anyway,”_

_He grinned again, “Thank-you, Elder!”_

“You’re on coffee duty this morning, Connor,” Brendon said brightly when he walked into work that morning. It took Connor a few minutes to work out what he was talking about, his mind was still in Uganda with Elder Price.

“I’ll have a Macchiato and Brian wants a Vanilla Iced Latte. Although, if you want to forget Brian’s drink like he conveniently forgot ours the other day, it’s fine,”

Brian glowered at them from behind the cash register, “I told you, I got distracted by the barista!”

“I’m only letting it slide because I know which one you mean,” Brendon turned to Connor, “he’s _really_ attractive,”

“Is he really,” Connor said, typing their orders into his phone so he wouldn’t forget. 

“ _So_ attractive,” Brian sighed, “and gay!”

Connor didn’t say anything. Both Brendon and Brian knew that he was gay, but they also knew that he wasn’t as comfortable with his sexuality as they were and never pushed him to talk about anything that he found uncomfortable. And talking about the attractiveness of a male barista was something that he definitely found uncomfortable.

Still, the possibility of meeting this possibly attractive barista was the reason that Connor walked to the coffee shop much faster than he usually did. Not that the barista being attractive would mean anything for Connor, he would never ask him out or even try and flirt with him. He was actively trying to stop having Hell dreams and flirting with a male barista didn’t seem like the best way to do that.

The shop was quiet for a Saturday morning, most customers were bent low over laptops or scribbling in notebooks and there was no line at the counter. 

Suddenly, there was an almighty crash from behind the counter and the exclaimation of a phrase that Connor had not heard in months:

“Hasa Diga Eebowai!"

Connor froze in his tracks, his eyes scanning the shop as he tried to work out who had shouted that phrase. Embarassingly, Connor was still too scared to actually say it himself. The few customers that were in looked just as confused as he felt but quickly got bored and returned to their work. 

Maybe he had just misheard someone speaking a different language. He had been thinking about Uganda a lot recently. It could have easily been his mind playing tricks on him.

Slightly disappointed by this fact, Connor approached the counter but could not see a single barista. 

“Um, hello?” Connor asked, “is there anyone there?”

A hand shot up from behind the counter, making Connor jump. 

“Give me one second! I accidentally spilled coffee beans everywhere,” the person sighed, “...and milk. It’s been a rough morning,”

“Take your time,” Connor replied.

There was something oddly familiar about that voice and Connor couldn’t quite put his finger on why. He supposed that it was probably a barista that he’d been served by before and didn’t think much of it as he scrolled through his phone. 

“Oh, gosh, sorry about that,” the barista said, straightening up and brushing coffee beans off his apron, “can I take your - Jesus Christ! Elder McKinley?”

Connor looked up from his phone and almost dropped it on the ground. 

“Elder Price!” 

He looked different from even the last time that Connor had seen him; he seemed to have put on a bit of weight and looked a lot healthier for it. His hair was still perfectly messy and Connor couldn’t help but smile at the name tag on his apron. He had written his name in massive letters and there was a tiny sticker of a frog above the letter ‘I’. 

“I didn’t know you were in San Diego, Elder,” Price said, clearly quite uncomfortable, “How long have you-”

“Elder?” a woman asked, appearing behind him, “is this one of your Mormon friends?”

Price looked awkward for a moment, and Connor wondered how much he had told his work friends about Uganda. 

“This is Elder McKinley. We were in Uganda together,” 

“Ah,” the woman said, “another Morman,”

“Sort of Mormon,” Connor said quickly, “I’m not...I’m not really practising anymore,”

Price smiled slightly at Connor and he felt his heart skip a beat. 

“Yeah. Neither am I,”

The woman looked between them for a moment and then shrugged. 

“I was raised Catholic, I have my own issues,” she stared into space for a moment before turning back to Kevin and smiling, “if you want to take the rest of the day off to catch up with Elder McKenly-”

“McKinley,” Price muttered. 

“-then you’re more than welcome to,”

“Oh, I, uh, I need to get back to work,” Connor said quickly, feeling himself go red, “but I finish at half five if you...” he trailed off, realising that he didn’t know what he wanted to say. 

“Yeah,” Kevin said, “Yeah. I finish then as well. We can...we can just come here,”

Connor nodded, “I’ll see you at half five, then,”

He was so distracted that he managed to leave without ordering a single drink. 

When Connor got back to work, Brian burst into laughter. 

“You got distracted, didn't you?"

"I - I know him. The attractive Barista. We were in Uganda together,"

Brian's eyes lit up, "You do? Can you go and ask him why he never replied to my text then? He gave me his number and then never text me back!"

"I'm not going - hang on, _he's gay_?"

"You didn't know?" Brendon asked, frowning at him, "I thought your mission lasted for two years? How did the fact that you were both gay never came up?"

Connor shrugged and muttered about Mormonism and homophobia. He was also quite sure the fact that he had gone on so much about turning it off had contributed to the fact that Elder Price had never once spoken about his sexuality. 

"I would actually like a coffee though," Brian said. 

"I'll go," Brendon sighed, "I'm way too old for Elder Beautiful Brown Eyes,"

There were a lot of thoughts running around Connors mind, and he was quite sure that the Hell dreams would not be going away anytime soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!! 
> 
> <3


	7. Abomination

Kevin decided that the next time Naba invited him to a college party, he would say no. Especially if he was on the early shift the next day. He stumbled into work bleary eyed and barely took notice of anything that was happening around him. That was until he somehow managed to knock over both a carton of milk and a whole bag of coffee beans as soon as he walked behind the counter. 

“Hasa Diga Eebowai!” he exclaimed. 

“Um, hello? Is there anyone there?”

Kevin cursed under his breath. Of course a customer would decide they needed a drink just as he was having a slight milk/coffee crisis. 

“Give me one second!” Kevin said, holding his hand up, “I accidentally spilled coffee beans everywhere...and milk. It’s been a rough morning,”

“Take your time,”

It soon became apparent that cleaning up would take longer that he expected and he quickly gave up on it. 

“Oh, gosh, sorry about that,” Kevin sighed, brushing coffee beans off his apron, “can I take your - Jesus Christ! Elder McKinley?”

Elder McKinley looked up from his phone and Kevin was suddenly struck by how attractive his fellow ex-Elder was. Of course, Kevin had always secretly found him attractive but there was something about seeing him wearing something other than his missionary uniform. His hair was still as neat as ever, but it was contrasted by the slightly creased t-shirt he was wearing under a denim shirt. His freckles had not faded now that he was away from the Ugandan sun, and Kevin found himself hoping that they never would. 

“Elder Price!” he exclaimed. 

“I didn’t know you were in San Diego, Elder,” Kevin said, trying to hide his awkwardness, “how long have you-”

“Elder?” Stacey asked, appearing behind Kevin, “is this one of your Mormon friends?”

Kevin opened his mouth and then closed it again, unsure of what to say. He still hadn’t told her the full story of what had happened in Uganda and didn’t like the thought of doing it in front of Elder McKinley. 

“This is Elder McKinley,” Kevin told her, deciding to keep things as formal as possible, “We were in Uganda together,”

“Ah,” Stacey replied, nodding her head, “another Mormon,”

“Sort of Mormon,” Elder McKinley interrupts, “I’m not...I’m not really practising anymore,”

“Yeah. Neither am I,” Kevin said, smiling. 

Stacey looked between them for a moment, and Kevin felt as though there was something strange in the way that she was looking at him.

“I was raised Catholic, I have my own issues...” she trailed off for a moment and then glanced at Kevin, “if you want to take the rest of the day off to catch up with Elder McKenly-”

“-McKinley,” Kevin muttered. 

He wasn’t sure why he corrected her and was too scared to think it through. 

“-then you’re more than welcome to,”

Kevin looked up at McKinley and tried not to look too desperate. 

“Oh, I, uh, I need to get back to work,” McKinley replied, and Kevin couldn’t tell if he was blushing or not, “but I finish at half five if you...”

“Yeah,” Kevin said, perhaps a little too quickly, “Yeah. I finish then as well. We can...we can just come here,”

It was only when the door had shut behind Elder McKinley that Kevin realised he had been staring at his butt the entire time he was walking away. 

“Uh, Stacey? Can I - Can I take a break?” Kevin asked. 

Stacey looked confused for a moment but then nodded. Kevin quickly thanked her and all but ran to the staff toilets, locking himself in and dropping on the toilet seat as his eyes filled up with tears. 

He shouldn’t have been so happy to see Elder McKinley. He shouldn’t have found him so attractive. He shouldn’t be so looking forward to seeing him later, because there was nothing platonic about the way that he wanted to have a coffee with him. And there was certainly nothing platonic about the way he had been staring at McKinley’s butt like his life depended on it. 

The images of the Hell dream that he had been having more than usual floated through his mind, and before he could stop himself, a sob escaped his lips. All he wanted was to be able to himself, but he couldn't because who he was is wrong. He had been told that his entire life. 

_ Kevin sat in between his brother and sister in Church. Jack looked as though he was only half listening and Olivia was tugging at some thread on her dress. Kevin was listening intently, sitting up straight with his eyes trained on Bishop Franklin.  _

_ “There’s a lot of temptation out there in the world for our young people,” he said gravely, “I’m sure you will have all heard of this talk of legalizing marriage between a man and a man and woman and a woman...” _

_ Out of the corner of his eye, Kevin saw his dad shaking his head.  _

_ “...but I must remind you all, thou shalt not lie with mankind as woman kind: it is abomination,” _

Kevin opened his eyes as the word abomination echoed through his brain. It was going to be a long day. 

\---

It was a strange thing to simultaneously want time to speed up and slow down. The rest of Kevin’s shift was accompanied with a lot of anxiety and general feelings that he was most definitely going to Hell. 

At half past 5, the tinkle of the bell announced Elder McKinley's entrance. He hovered by the door and awkwardly waved at Kevin when he glanced over. 

“I’ll be with you in a minute, Elder!” Kevin called over to him, “just, uh, just sit down,”

“I’ll clean up, Kev,” Stacey said, clapping him on the back, “go and catch up with him. I'll bring coffee over,"

Kevin thanked her and walked over to McKinley. As he was walking over to the table, Kevin suddenly became very conscious about the way that he was walking. Did he look strange? Did he look too eager? Was he overthinking everything? 

“So...how have you been, Elder?” Kevin asked awkwardly, taking his seat. 

“Do we - do we still have to call each other Elder?” McKinley asked, “I don’t think we have that right anymore...”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Kevin laughed, “You’re the first person to call me Elder since we got back from Uganda. It sounds weird,"

Connor smiled at him and Kevin’s heart skipped a beat. 

“What are you doing in San Diego?” Connor asked, “I thought you’d stay in Salt Lake City,”

Kevin shook his head, “No. My, uh, my family kicked me out, so I moved in with Cunninghams but we wanted to move away because it’s too...Mormony,” 

“‘ _ Too Mormony,’ _ ” Connor repeated laughing, “that’s one way to describe Salt Lake City,” he looked awkward for a moment, “sorry that you got kicked out,”

Kevin shrugged his shoulders. 

“It is what it is. I would have been more shocked if they would have let me stay,” Kevin replied, “it’s not all bad though, Naba is going to college here so Arnold’s thrilled. What brings you here?”

“Disowned,” Connor said sadly, “and I just...needed to get away,” 

Kevin suddenly wanted nothing more than to hug Connor and tell him that everything was going to be OK, but he pushed those feelings down. Instead, he just smiled sadly at him. 

“Do you work around here then?”

“The bookshop across the road,” Connor told him. 

“Oh,” Kevin said quietly, thinking about the flag on the door, “that must be a nice place to work,”

“It’s OK,” Connor said, “it pays enough,” 

The more they talked, the less awkward it became. At some point, Kevin had moved around the table so that they were sat closer together, their knees almost touching. By the end of the night, Kevin’s hand was resting on Connor’s arm and they were leaning into each other. 

When Connor laughed at one of Kevin’s jokes and dropped his head onto his shoulder, giggling slightly, Kevin couldn’t understand how this could ever be an abomination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading and all the lovely comments you've been leaving! It's really appreciated <3


	8. Cloud 9 to Rock Bottom

Connor felt as though he was on cloud 9. 

Kevin Price was sat extremely close to him, resting his hand on his arm. Anyone walking by the coffee shop might have thought that the two of them were a couple, and Connor was more than happy for people to think that they were a couple. 

“We should probably go home,” Kevin said quietly.

“Yeah,” Connor said, “Yeah. We probably should,” he looked up at Kevin and smiled, “it was, um, it was nice seeing you again,”

Kevin grinned, “You too, man. We should meet up again soon! Arnold and Naba will want to see you again!”

“That’d be great!” Connor said excitedly, “Here, take my phone number,” 

Kevin flinched as though Connor had hurt him but handed his phone over anyway. 

“See you later, Eld - Connor,” 

Two days later, Connor found himself in a bar with Kevin, Nabulungi and Arnold. There was a brightly coloured cocktail sat in front of him that he had barely drank. Although he could drink if he really wanted to, he still couldn’t quite get used to the taste. No one seemed to notice that he wasn’t drinking because Naba and Arnold were too busy catching him up on what he’d missed. Part of him was quite sure that they were just acting like they were happy to see him, but he tried not to think about it too much. 

“How’s college, Nabulungi?” Connor asked. 

“Amazing!” she said excitedly, “I think I’m going to major in Theology,”

“She’s so smart...” Arnold sighed dreamily, kissing a giggling Nabulungi on the cheek. 

“See, this is the kind of shit I have to deal with on a daily basis,” Kevin whispered to Connor, “Arnold being so obviously head over heels in love with her,” 

“It’s cute!”

“Try living with him. All he does is talk about her all day,” Kevin muttered, but he was still smiling. 

“So, Connor, have you found someone yet?” Nabulungi asked. 

Connor felt his cheeks go red, “N-No. There’s no one,” 

“You’ll find someone, bud,” Arnold said confidently, “we’re away from the confines of the Church now!”

Kevin had very suddenly moved away from Connor and was almost on the other side of the table. 

“Well, the Book of Arnold does say that there’s nothing wrong with being gay,” Connor said carefully, looking over at Kevin, “No more turning it off...”

“Easier said than done,” Kevin muttered, somewhat angrily. 

“What was that, buddy?” Arnold asked. 

“Nothing!” Kevin said brightly, looking back up at them and grinning, “does anyone want another drink?” 

Connor couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty about the fact that Kevin very clearly couldn’t accept his sexuality. He _had_ been the one who had drilled the whole ‘turn it off’ routine into the heads of the District 9 Elders. 

“There’s something wrong with him,” Arnold said watching him order at the bar, “I’ll find out what it is tonight,” 

By the time Kevin had returned with a tray of drinks, it was as though nothing was wrong with him. 

“I got you a non-alcoholic drink,” Kevin told him, placing a different one in front of him, “I noticed you didn’t drink the other one,” 

“Thank-you,” Connor said, “I didn’t think you’d pay that much attention to me,”

Kevin smiled and moved closer to him again, resting his arm on the back of Connor’s chair. 

“It’s hard not to,” Kevin said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“I’m going to walk Neville Longbottom home,” Arnold said loudly. 

Connor and Kevin jumped apart, and Connor felt his cheeks turning red. 

“See you at home,” Kevin said, rubbing the back of his neck and looking sheepish. 

“What do you want to do now?” Connor asked, “Do you want to go home or-”

“No!” Kevin said quickly, “I mean...if you’re ready to go home then that’s fine but-”

Connor shook him, “I’m not in work tomorrow, so I don’t have to be anywhere in the morning...” 

They sat and drank their drinks in silence for a while, just enjoying each others company. Now that they were alone, they sat closer together again. Kevin’s arm moved from around the back of Connor’s chair to actually being around his shoulders and Connor found himself leaning into Kevin. 

“Do you speak to anyone else from the mission?” Kevin asked, breaking the silence. 

Connor shook his head, “No, I’ve completely lost contact with everyone. I think they just need time to...you know,”

“Get used to not being in the Church anymore?” 

“Yeah, that,” Connor said, “I don’t know if any of them were planning to fight the-”

“Excuse me?” a woman asked, walking over to them, “sorry, but could you two...not?”

“Pardon?” Connor asked, “could we not what?”

“You know, sit like...sit like that,” she said, gesturing at the two of them, “it’s just making me very uncomfortable,” 

Connor stared at her, his mouth hanging open. Sometimes he forgot that it wasn’t just Mormons who were homophobic. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Kevin said, “We’re just sat together,” 

“Yes, but you’re sat like a couple,” 

“Let’s just leave,” Connor said quickly, jumping up, “We don’t - we don’t need to be here,” 

Kevin looked like he wanted to fight back but followed Connor out of the bar anyway. 

“I think...I think that I’m going to head home, actually,” Kevin said, wiping his eyes. Connor thought that he might have been crying, but he was gone before he could ask. 

That night, the Hell dream was worse than ever. It was quite a fall from Cloud 9 to rock bottom. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!


	9. Here For Us

Kevin woke up the next morning after very little sleep. That nights sleep hadn’t been ruined by a Hell dream, but by a dream about the General. He rubbed his eyes as though doing this would erase the memory of everything that had happened on that fateful day. He still hadn’t told anyone what had happened. He hadn’t even told Arnold. Gotswana had kept everything that had happened to himself and even covered for Kevin when Poptarts had asked where he’d been when they were baptising the people of the village. 

“He was volunteering with me in the hospital,” he had told Poptarts, “he was a lot of help,”

There was a knock on Kevin’s bedroom door and Arnold popped his head around the door.

“Hey, bud...do you want some breakfast? I’ve made bacon,”

“Yeah. I’ll be out in a minute,”

Kevin stayed sat on the edge of his bed for a while, mulling things over. Every now and then, his mind would try and wander to Connor, but he would very quickly pull it as far away from Connor as possible. 

It was the smell of bacon that finally made Kevin move. Arnold silently passed him the bacon sandwich, wearing an expression that told him they were about to discuss something serious. 

“What?” Kevin asked, his sandwich halfway to his mouth, “why are you looking at me like that?” 

Arnold shook his head and muttered something non-committal. Kevin narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Arnold...” 

“Why did you come home crying last night?” He asked bluntly. 

Kevin felt his cheeks go red. He had thought that he had been quiet when walking by Arnold’s bedroom. 

“I wasn’t - I was just - I had a blocked nose and I was -“

“Kevin, you’re a terrible liar,” 

Reluctantly, Kevin told Arnold the story of the woman in the bar, all whilst trying his best not to make eye contact with him. Arnold stayed silent for the entire time, slowly eating his sandwich and nodding his head ever so slightly.

“...and I was so embarrassed that I just walked away and left Connor stood there!” Kevin finished, slamming his hand down on the table. 

“Kev, I’m gonna ask you something and if you don’t want to answer, it’s fine. We don’t ever have to talk about it again but...” Arnold took a deep breath, “Are you gay?” 

The question hit him like a tonne of bricks, knocking the wind out of him. Kevin opened his mouth and then closed it again, unsure of how to answer this question. Then he started crying and didn’t seem to be able to stop. 

He had only ever been asked that question once before, by one of his annoying cousins. He had reacted by spouting a verse from the Book of Mormon and hurrying away. 

“Hey, buddy, forget about it, I shouldn’t have asked,” Arnold said quickly, putting his arm around Kevin. 

“I am,” Kevin said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“What?” Arnold asked, “I can’t hear you,” 

“I am gay,” Kevin said, this time louder. 

He wiped the tears from his eyes, revelling in the fact that he had finally been able to say it out loud. It had not been an easy thing to say, it almost felt as though the word had scratched his throat. And still, it felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. 

“And you and Connor-“

Kevin shook his head. 

“N-No,” He said, “I don’t know. I think I like him...no, I don’t think I like him...I _know_ I like him,”

“I’m not pushing you into anything, but the happiest I’ve seen you in a long time was when you were sat with Connor,”

“I don’t know if he feels-“

Arnold rolled his eyes at him. 

“Shut up, Kevin. There is no way that Connor doesn’t feel the same way. You should see the way he looks at you,” 

Kevin shook his head and wiped his eyes.

“It doesn’t matter how much I want to or if he feels the same way, anyway. It’s not - it’s not natural....an  _ abomination _ ,”

“You know that’s not true,” Arnold said quietly.

“I know!” Kevin exclaimed, “but I still can’t...I still can’t get it out of my head. I almost applied for a job at that book shop that Connor works at and you know why I didn’t?”

Arnold shook his head. 

“Because there was a pride flag on the door and it freaked me out! If I can’t even see a pride flag without freaking out, how the fuck am I meant to be in a relationship with a guy?”

“Honestly, bud, I’m not the person to be asking about gay relationships,” Arnold said slowly, and Kevin could tell he was choosing his words carefully, “all I do know is that you deserve to be happy, and the happiest I’ve seen you is with Connor,

“But to lie with another man is-“

“ _ Not  _ an abomination, and you know it,” Arnold interrupted.

Kevin did not reply, because he agreed with everything that Arnold was saying. When he had been with Connor, everything felt as it should have been.

“I know,” Kevin sighed, wiping his eyes, “ _ I know,  _ and I really...I really like him, Arn,” 

Arnold shrugged his shoulders, “so ask him out,”

Kevin laughed. 

“Alright, it’s not that easy,”

“It isn’t?” 

“No!” 

“Why?” 

“Because...because...because....” Kevin faltered, realising that there wasn’t anything stopping him from asking Connor out (apart from himself, of course). 

They were away from the Church and its teachings. Teachings that Kevin didn’t believe in, and perhaps never did. Why was he depriving himself of happiness in fear of not getting the approval of the Church? 

“You’re right,” Kevin said, looking up at Arnold, “you’re absolutely right!” He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Connor, asking him to come over. 

When there was a knock on the door, Arnold very quickly left them alone, saying that he was going to the store. He shot Kevin an encouraging smile before closing the door behind him.

“I want to apologise for last night-“ Kevin began, but Connor shot him down. 

“No. It’s fine,” he smiled awkwardly at him, “is that the first time someone’s been so obviously homophobic around you?” 

Kevin blushed and nodded. 

“It’s the first time it ever happened to you. You panicked. It’s OK, Kevin,” Connor said quietly, “you get used to it,”

“Do you?”

Connor shrugged, “it becomes part of your day to day life,”

“Right, well, I need to - I need to ask you something,”

Connor just raised his eyebrows at him and didn’t say anything. 

“I was um, I was...” Kevin cleared his throat, “I was wondering if you wanted to go for a drink some time,”

Connor’s facial expression was unreadable, and Kevin found that he was feeling the same as he was when waiting to find out where he would be going on his mission. 

“Are you asking me out on a date, Kevin?” Connor asked. 

Kevin nodded, “Y-Yeah. I mean, I know I haven’t  _ technically  _ come out to you but I thought it was obvious,” 

“I’m sorry, Kevin, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” 

Kevin felt his throat constricting but fought back the tears. He wasn’t going to start crying now. He wasn’t going to embarrass himself that much. 

“Oh,” He said softly, “sorry, I must have read the signals wrong...”

“No!” Connor said quickly, “No! You didn’t! I would love to go on a date with you!”

Kevin frowned, growing more and more confused.

“So, why-“

“I don’t think you’re ready,” Connor replied, “you’re not in the mindset to start a whole new relationship. And especially not with a man,”

“I am!” Kevin exclaimed defiantly. 

Connor shook his head, “I really don’t think you are, Kevin, and that’s OK. You’ve only just come out, you need time to be comfortable with who you are as someone who’s no longer in the closet,”

Kevin nodded. He wanted to argue some more, but he didn’t trust himself to not sob in front of Connor. If he started crying in front of him, he might try and hug him, and that was the last thing he needed. 

“I’m really sorry, Kevin,” Connor said quietly, “I’ll...I’ll see you around,” 

No sooner did the door shut did it open again. For a moment, Kevin thought that Connor had come back and he felt his heart soar, but it turned out to only be Arnold.

“I just ran to the store to get some snacks,” he said, holding up to bulging plastic bags, “and Connor just passed but he didn’t say-“

“He said no,” Kevin said glumly, “because I’m apparently not ready to be in a relationship with a man. The worst thing is that he actually said that he would go out with me!”

Arnold sighed and set the bags down on the counter, holding out his arms. Bursting into tears, Kevin wrapped his arms around Arnold, more grateful than ever to have been blessed with a friend like him. Kevin often wondered if he’d have survived Uganda without him. 

“I’ll text Nutella and tell her that we’re having an us night,”

“Can we watch the Lion King?” Kevin asked, not caring how childish he sounded.

“Yeah,” Arnold said, pulling away, “whatever you need, Kev,”

Kevin nodded and wiped his eyes.

“Sorry for being such a mess,”

“Don’t apologise for anything,” Arnold said firmly, “I’m here for you, buddy,”

“I’m here for you too, pal,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!


	10. Is Elder Beautiful Brown Eyes Kinky? (Connor Doesn't Think He Wants to Know)

Connor felt terrible, more so than usual. 

He had not really wanted to say no to a date with Kevin Price... _the_ Kevin Price, but it was for the best. Kevin wasn’t in the right mindset to be dating a man for the first time. Connor was also quite sure that Kevin had never even been in a relationship with a girl before. Whenever the other Missionaries would talk about past relationships whilst they were in Uganda, Kevin would get uncharacteristically quiet until the subject was changed. 

And even though he knew it was for the best, it didn’t stop Connor from feeling terrible. 

He told Brendon everything that had happened between him and Kevin, and asked not to be put on coffee duty for a while. He was very understanding and even gracious enough to not tell Brian about it, but he seemed happy enough to go to get the coffee, anyway. 

“Do you think I did the right thing?” Connor asked anxiously. 

Brendon looked thoughtful for a moment. 

“You young gays have different problems to the ones my generation had to deal with,” he said carefully, “and I think...I think the fact that you and Elder Beautiful Brown Eyes come from the background that you do is unhelpful but...” he trailed off. 

“But what?” Connor asked earnestly. 

“If he was never open about his sexuality but suddenly is, do you not think that that means he’s ready?” Brendon asked. 

Connor bit the inside of his lip, suddenly feeling quite foolish. He had thought he had done the right thing in letting Kevin down but perhaps Brian was right. 

“You know, back in Uganda, we always...we always shared these like...moments, together,” Connor said. 

“Like what?"

Connor shrugged. 

“I don’t know...sometimes if we were sat on the couch together, we’d sit that little bit too close together, or we’d brush hands when were walking together. We even _napped_ together once,” 

“Connor, I think you might be in love,” 

“Oh, shut up,” Connor scoffed, turning away from Brendon as his cheeks grew red, “I am not,” 

“All I’m saying is that you remind me of me when I first met Andy. And we’ve been together for fifteen years,” 

“Did you say no to a date when he asked you out?” Connor asked, hoping to hear him say yes. 

“We didn’t really have a first date. We just fucked in the back of his car,” 

Connor slapped his hands over his ears and started humming loudly. 

“I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know,” 

Brendon tutted, “You asked!”

Connor was distracted for the rest of the day. Brian coming back from the coffee shop beaming because Elder Beautiful Brown Eyes had been _so_ obviously flirting with him did not make him feel any better, either. It should have been Connor coming back from the shop beaming because Kevin had been flirting with him! He could have been calling Kevin his boyfriend but _no_ he had to go and mess everything up because that’s what Connor McKinley did best: messing things up! He messed up his relationship with Steve by having an almighty nervous breakdown and shouting Book of Mormon verses halfway through what had really been a quite magnificently sinful blow job. He messed up in Uganda by letting Kevin Price walk all over him because he can’t control himself around anyone who is even _slightly_ attractive and he messed up by letting said attractive person slip through his fingers. 

“...he even apologised for not texting me back! He only didn’t text back because he broke his phone!” Brian said cheerily. 

“That’s great, man,” Brendon said, casting a worried look at Connor who was doing his very best to not look like the entire conversation was bothering him. 

“Are you, um, are you going to go on a date?” Connor asked, trying to keep his voice light. 

Brian shrugged slightly, “I don’t know yet. He was _definitely_ flirting but it was like something was holding him back, you know?”

Brendon gave Connor a knowing look from across the store, but Connor was saved by Brian going on his break and the arrival of a customer with a very long shopping list of extremely obscure books that Connor was quite sure she could have done without. By the time she was gone, Connor would have liked nothing more than to curl up and go to sleep. Preferably in the arms of Kevin Price. 

The door suddenly burst open and Connor jumped, almost cowering behind the counter but it was only Brian returning from his break, looking extremely happy. 

“I have a date!” he exclaimed, completely disregarding the customers that were around him. 

“A date,” Brendon repeated, “with who?”

“Elder Beautiful Brown Eyes!” 

Connor dropped the book that he was holding. 

“K-Kevin?” 

Brian nodded, actually jumping up and down on the balls of his feet. 

“I thought - I thought you said you weren’t sure,” Connor stuttered. 

“I know, but when I went in I thought fuck it! What’s the worst that could happen? But the best that could have happened...happened!” 

“Great...” Connor muttered, “I’m um...I’m going to take my lunch now,” 

\---

For the rest of the week, Connor could not think of anything but the fact that Kevin Price was going on a date with someone who wasn’t Connor McKinley. 

It also made him greatly dislike Brian, who had not actually done anything wrong. Jealousy was an awful thing and was not helping him get rid of the Hell dreams. He was starting to think that there was nothing that would ever get rid of his Hell dreams. They were just a part of his life. 

Connor did try his best to get the day after Kevin and Brian’s day off, but he couldn’t think of how to do it without looking overly suspicious. So it was with a very heavy heart that Connor dragged himself into work, dreading having to face Brian. 

“He isn’t in yet,” Brendon said when Connor walked into work, “cheer up, kid,” 

“No,” Connor muttered, “I don’t want to cheer up. _I_ should be the one on the date,"

“You’re the one who said no to him!” 

Connor groaned, “I know! That’s the worst thing about it all!”

“Ah, here he - _Jesus Christ!_ Brian! What’s happened to your face?”

Connor whirled around and gasped, clapping his hands over his mouth. Brian was sporting a very black eye and was looking rather pissed off about the whole thing. 

“Kevin Price happened to my face,” Brian snapped. 

“Did he _punch_ you?” Brendon asked. 

“Yes!” 

“W-Why?” Connor asked, unable to work out why on earth Kevin would do that. He did not seem the kind of person. Connor once saw him get emotional because Poptarts killed a massive spider for Elder Church back in Uganda. 

Brian shrugged his shoulders, “God knows!”

“Well did it come out of nowhere or did you annoy him that much?” Brendon sniggered. 

Brian suddenly blushed. 

“We were...we were...you know...back at his apartment and his roommate wasn’t in and...”

“Oh, no,” Connor muttered, squeezing his eyes shut, “I don’t want to hear this,” 

Brendon gasped, "Is Elder Beautiful Brown Eyes kinky?"

“No! The complete opposite! He was bottoming and I was, you know, _preparing_ him and I barely got one finger in when he completely freaked out on me! He full on punched me in the face and then starting crying and threw me out!” 

“He was crying and you _left him?”_ Connor exclaimed, “you should have stayed with him!”

“He gave me a _black eye_ , Connor! What did you want me to do about it?”

Before Connor could argue back, Brendon interrupted by throwing his arm around Brian and leading him into the staff room.

“Let's just get some ice for your eye, yeah?”

Connor wandered over to the shop window and looked over the street at the coffee shop. Part of him wanted to go over and find Kevin to make sure that everything was OK, but he didn’t think that his presence would be welcomed. 

Somehow, Connor couldn’t help but feel like it was all his fault. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading and, as always, thank-you for the comments and Kudos! They really mean a lot! <3


	11. Being Kevin Price

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!TRIGGER WARNING!!
> 
> Description of sexual assault, mention of suicidal thoughts. Please, please, please, don’t read this chapter if it’s going to trigger you!!! I don’t want any of you being uncomfortable!!!!

* * *

Having never punched someone before, Kevin had not realised that he would also get bruised. He massaged his knuckles as he lay on the couch, still unable to believe that he had actually  _ punched  _ someone; could not believe that he had punched someone before they were about to have sex! 

Thankfully, Arnold had not been around to see Kevin’s almighty breakdown after it had happened (or not happened). Whenever his mind wandered back to it, he felt as though he was going to cry again. He had never suffered through something so embarrassing in his life. 

And it was all the Generals fault. 

He had fucked Kevin up for life and probably didn’t even care. He had never once apologised to Kevin, even when he was baptised into the Church of Arnoldism and Kevin didn’t think that he ever would. Not that he even wanted to be around the General for long enough for him to. 

Kevin closed his eyes and he was back. 

_ “So,” Kevin said brightly, opening the Book of Mormon and turning to the General and his soldiers, “where do you want to-“ _

_ “JUMAMOSI!” _

_ “Um, what’re you-“ _

_ The guards ran forward and grabbed his arms, forcing the Book of Mormon out of his hands. The General advanced on him, flexing his muscles. _

_ “Wait! God has spoken to me, sir! By the power of God Almighty touch me not!” Kevin yelled, “um...the power of Christ compels you! Wait! What are you doing? NO!” _

_ But they just seemed to find this funny. The General shoved him backwards into a hut and Kevin came to the sudden realisation that this could very well be the place that he died. He glanced around the decrepit hut, and he found himself thinking about Orlando. He should have just gone whilst he’d had the chance. Why did he always have to be the best? Why couldn’t he just leave someone else to have their moment?  _

_ “Please,” Kevin begged, tears springing to his eyes, “Please. I’m sorry. I’m just trying to - I’m just trying to help you! I only wanted to do something incredible! Just let me go, please, I didn’t want to-“ _

_ One of the guards grabbed him and spun him around, shoving him against the wall. Kevin yelled out in pain as his head hit the wall and bright spots danced through his vision. He was crying for them to stop, to just let him go, but they were just laughing at him. _

_ The General shoved his feet between Kevin’s ankles, forcing them apart. And then his trousers were around his ankles and his underwear ripped open. _

_ “Wait!” Kevin yelled, trying to fight against the guards holding him against the wall, “wait! Stop! What are you doing?”  _

_ The General grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked his head back.  _

_ “Where’s your God now, boy?” He taunted, “huh? Where is he? You better start praying!” _

_ Kevin squeezed his eyes shut and began to pray. When he felt something enter him, and felt as though he was being ripped in half, he did not pray for Heavenly Father to get him out of the hut, he just prayed for death. Begged for it, even.  _

_ “Heavenly Father, please, please, please, kill me. Let it be over. Let this end. I don’t want to do it anymore. Let me die. Let me die. Let me die. Let me die. Let me die. Let me die. Let me die,” Kevin whimpered, “Please, just kill me. I want you to kill me. Kill me, please. I want to die. I want to die,” _

“Kevin? Kevin? Can you hear me? Kevin!” 

There were softer hands on him now, but Kevin did not want to open his eyes. What if he was still in that hut in Uganda? What if the General was still behind him? What if he’d never made it out. 

“Arnold, maybe we should call an ambulance,”

“An ambulance?” a familiarly comforting voice exclaimed, “Do you know how expensive they are, Nala? We’d be paying it off for the rest of our lives!” 

It was the sound of Arnold’s voice that prompted Kevin to open his eyes. If Arnold was there, then everything would be OK. 

Nabalungi was crouched down in front of him, fear etched on her face and she slowly stroked his hair. Arnold was stood behind her, tears sparkling in his own eyes. 

“Kev!” Arnold said, “what is it? You were thrashing around for about 2 minutes! We couldn’t wake you! Was it a Hell dream?” 

“Something like that,” Kevin muttered, propping himself up on a shaking elbow and realising that his face was completely wet with tears. 

Naba took his hand in hers and looked up at him.

“What happened, Kevin?” she asked, “you can tell us,” 

“I....I...” he took a deep breath and burst into tears. 

“Oh, Kevin!” Naba exclaimed, throwing her arms around his neck, “don’t cry! Whatever it is, we can fix it! You and Arnold and I!” 

Kevin didn’t say anything straight away, he just put his arms around Naba and allowed himself to cry, allowed awful sobs to wreck his body. 

“Kev,” Arnold said quietly, perching on the edge of the couch, “you can tell us anything. You know you can,”

It took him a while to pull himself together, but soon, he was sat up straight with a mug of steaming hot chocolate in his hands. 

“When we were in Uganda, when you were baptising everyone...I went to...I went to see the General,” Kevin began slowly, “because I thought I could change him.  _ God _ , I was so fucking stupid! I thought I could convert him to the Church and then...and then...” he began to cry again and Arnold all but dived across the couch so that he could put his arm around him. 

“What happened, buddy?” Arnold asked. 

“He...he...” Kevin took a deep, shuddering breath, “he took my Book of Mormon and shoved it...he shoved it up my...” he trailed off, unable to say anymore. 

A silence fell across the three of them, and Kevin wanted nothing more than for one of them to say something. He shut his eyes and put his head in his hands. 

“And it’s really fucked me up,” he whispered, “he really,  _ really  _ fucked me up. Last night, on that date, we were going to...we were going to...you know and he put his finger...not even fully...and I just...I freaked out. I punched him. I thought he was the General,”

Kevin felt the arm around him tighten and he allowed his head to drop onto Arnold’s shoulder. 

“And we let him into the Church of Arnold...” Nabalungi said, a hint of disgust in her voice, “I’m going to call my father and tell him to throw him out and-“

“No!” Kevin yelled, “no! What if he - what if goes back to the way he was? And then everyone will know what happened to me and I’m not ready for that. I don’t want people to know!”

Nabalungi stared at him for a moment and then nodded. 

“Of course, Kevin. Whatever makes you feel comfortable,”

“I’m sorry,” Arnold said suddenly.

“What?” Kevin asked. 

“I was such a dick to you,” Arnold said, “before the mission president came...you’d drank all that coffee and you were clearly hurting and  _ limping  _ and I just didn’t give a shit! I should have stayed with you and-“

“Shut up, Arn,” Kevin sighed, poking him in the side, “you’re here now. That’s all I care about,”

“I need to go to class,” Naba said, kissing Kevin on the cheek, “but I’ll be back round later,” 

She quickly kissed Arnold and hurried from the apartment. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what happened, Arnold,” Kevin said. 

“Don’t apologise. I’m just glad you felt ready,”

Kevin glanced down at the bruise on his knuckles that were starting to look quite swollen.

“Do you know how to sort this out?” He asked, holding up his hand. 

“I’ll get you some ice,” Arnold said, pushing himself off the couch.

Kevin sat and waited in silence, starting at the floor. He still could not believe how lucky he had been to come across Arnold. The Church had done many bad things to Kevin, but even if he could not fault it for pairing the two of them together in the mission training centre. 

—-

Arnold convinced Kevin to take the next day off work to recover because he ‘deserved’ it. Kevin didn’t have the energy to argue and happily went along with lying on the couch for a full day without having to worry about anything. (This didn’t stop him from worrying about anything though; he was convinced that he would never be able to have a relationship with someone because of what the General had done). 

He text Brian, apologised for what happened, and told him that it was best that they never go on a date again. Brian simply text back the thumbs up emoji, and Kevin felt like it ended in the best way that it could have done. 

But that just left him thinking about Connor. 

The revelation that Connor and Brian worked together came as quite a shock when Brian casually dropped into conversation. This had prompted Kevin to worry that it might then be strange for him and Connor to go on a date before reminding himself that Connor didn’t even want to go on a date with him. There probably wasn’t anyone who wanted to go on a date with him. 

It was a depressing existence, being Kevin Price. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading! 
> 
> (I promise this will get happier) 
> 
> Comments and Kudos always appreciated <3


	12. Kevin Fucking Price and James as in Elder Church

Connor decided that the best thing to do was to give Kevin space. He didn’t really want to do this, but he was obviously hurting and Connor didn’t want to be the reason for Kevin hurting even more than he already was. 

And yet, Kevin’s freak out when he was with Brian proved to Connor that he had been right, that Kevin obviously wasn’t ready for a relationship. This wasn’t the best of news for anyone involved, so Connor allowed himself a few days to just mope around and feel generally sorry for himself. 

It was days like today when Connor would have liked nothing more than to talk to Elder Thomas. He always knew exactly what to say to make Connor feel better and always had the best advice.

“Just look him up on Facebook,” Brendon said when Connor confided in him.

“If he went back to the Church he probably wouldn’t have done,” Connor sighed, “he might be on a mission again,” 

“What did you say his name was?” Brian asked, pulling his phone out of his pocket. 

“Chris Thomas, but I think he might have gone back to the Church. He was really upset when-“

“He lives in Wyoming, works at Starbucks,” Brendon said, “and apparently loves....Pop Tarts?” 

Connor beamed. 

“That’s him! And he isn’t in the Church anymore!” 

Brendon frowned, “how do you know?”

“Because he works at Starbucks. Mormons aren’t allowed to drink coffee so working at a coffee shop just seems-“

“You can’t drink coffee?” Brendon asked.

“Well, _ I  _ can but actual Mormons can’t,” 

Brendon stared, his mouth hanging open. 

“The more I hear about Mormonism, the happier I am that I’m non-religious,” 

That night, Connor plucked up the courage to actually message Chris. 

**“ _Hey. I know this is weird, but I miss you,”_**

**_“Con!!! This isn’t weird!! I miss you!!! What are you doing???”_ **

In the only way that Chris could, he noticed that something was wrong with Connor after a mere 5 text messages and had soon text a screenshot of a confirmation email for a plane ticket to San Diego. 

**_“Wait, you don’t have to come all the way for me!”_ **

**_“I’m already packing my bag,”_ **

And he sent a picture of his suitcase just to prove it. 

A week later, Connor paced up and down his living room in a daze of nervous excitement waiting for Chris. What if they didn’t get on as well as they used to? Really, they were only friends because the mission training centre had pushed them together. It had been a forced friendship, really. They might not be as close outside of Uganda. 

A knock on the door sent a wave of panic over Connor. Very slowly, he made his way over to the door, as though whoever was on the other end might try and kill him. 

“CONNOR!” Chris exclaimed, throwing his arms around his neck. 

Connor yelped and stumbled backwards, but wrapped his arms around Chris, anyway. Automatically, Connor felt himself relax. It was at this point that Connor realised he had not relaxed since he had declined to go on a date with Kevin. 

“I’ve missed you,” Connor whispered, fighting back tears. 

“Why are you crying, Con?” Chris asked, pulling away and looking at him with searching eyes, “what is it? Is everything OK?”

Then he started sobbing and found that he couldn’t actually stop. 

“Gosh, Con, just sit down. Tell me everything,” Chris said quietly, “tell me. I can sort it out for you,” 

It all came spilling out of him without warning; how his parents had completely abandoned him at the moment when he needed them both, how he had lived in a homeless shelter for six horrible weeks and how he might have just messed up one chance at happiness with  _ Kevin fucking Price _ of all people. Chris, ever the amazing listener, stayed silent through it all. 

“....and I thought that saying no to going on a date with him would have been the best thing to do, but now I’m not sure!” Connor exclaimed, slumping back into the cushions of his couch. 

“Kevin Price as in Elder Price?” Chris asked, frowning. 

“Do we know anyone else with the last name Price?” 

“I always knew he was gay.” Chris said. 

Connor turned to look at Chris so quickly that his neck cracked. 

“You didn’t! Even  _ I  _ didn’t know!” 

Chris shrugged again. 

“I don’t know. I just always thought he was...but that isn’t the point!” he said quickly when Connor turned to glare at him. 

“No, the point is that I completely messed up any chance that I had with him,” Connor grumbled, folding his arms. 

“That isn’t true,” Chris said quietly, “James tried to kiss me on our last day in Uganda and I all but ran in the opposite direction and now...now we’re living together,” 

It took Connor a few seconds to realise exactly what Chris had said. 

“James?” he gasped, “James as in...James as in Elder Church?”

“James as in Elder Church,” 

And as happy as he was for Chris and James, Connor couldn’t help but feel as though everyone except him was happy. 

\---

Realistically, Connor should have known that Chris had an ulterior motive when he asked to see where Connor worked. 

“It’s literally just a bookstore,” Connor said as they walked there. 

“I know, but it’s nice to work where you work!” 

“Is it?” Connor muttered, coming to a stop outside of the store and pointing at it, “there it is! A bookstore!” 

Chris looked up at it and nodded, “Cool! Hey, maybe we should go to that coffee shop over-” 

“No!” Connor yelled, grabbing his arm and yanking him back, “I told you! That’s where Kevin works!”

“Is it really?” Chris asked nonchalantly, pulling his arm out of Connor’s grip, “let’s go!”

“Can’t we just go to the Starbucks down the road?”

“We have to support local businesses, Con!” 

“You work at Starbucks!” 

“Do as I say, not as I do,” 

It soon became clear that Chris wasn’t going to take no for an answer, and so Connor could do nothing but follow him across the road. This wasn’t necersarilly going to be a disaster, he thought to himself, because Kevin could easily have a day off. 

Any hope that he might have been able to avoid Kevin sputtered out as soon as they walked in. Connor’s eyes were immediately drawn to the counter where Kevin was stood, giggling at a baby as he took his mother’s order. 

“Oh, Connor, I think you’re in love with him,” Chris sighed, putting his arm around Connnor and leading him over to the counter. 

“I am not in love with-”

“Hi! Welcome to The Coffee Hut can I take your -  _ oh _ ,” Kevin faltered halfway through his sentence, “Connor! And...Elder - Elder Thomas?”

“Hey, man!” Chris said brightly, “I’m not really an Elder though, anymore,”

“Oh, oh yeah...” Kevin said, though his eyes were on Connor, “are you visiting?”

“Yeah. Still back in Wyoming, I’m living with James now,” 

“Right. Yeah. That’s great,” Kevin replied, and Connor was quite sure that he wasn’t listening to a thing that Chris was saying, “can I...can I take your order?”

“Two iced coffees, please,” Connor said, and he was shocked to hear that he sounded breathless. 

Kevin nodded. He still hadn’t looked away from Connor. 

“Your drinks will be at the end,” 

When they took their seats, Kevin was still staring. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!!! <3


	13. So, You Do Want to Kiss Me?

Babies, Kevin decided, were cute. He couldn’t help but giggle at the adorable baby boy writhing around in his mother's arms as she tried to order a coffee.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him today,” she sighed, trying to stop him from launching out of her arms, “he’s not usually this wriggly,”

“He’s adorable!” Kevin beamed, waving at him, “You’re drink will be at the end for you,”

The mother thanked him and moved on, and Kevin couldn’t help but wonder if he would ever be able to have children. It would probably be best to just focus on getting through this shift and not try to work out when he would be able to have a family of his own.

“Hi! Welcome to the Coffee Hut can I take your - _oh_ ,” 

It was at this point that Kevin realised that getting through his shift would be difficult for Connor and Elder Thomas stood in front of him.

“Connor! And...Elder - Elder Thomas?”

“Hey, man!” Elder Thomas said brightly, “I’m not really an Elder though, anymore,”

“Oh, oh yeah...” Kevin said, though he found that he couldn’t really care less about what Elder Thomas was saying. He was too busy staring at Connor, “are you visiting?”

“Yeah. Still back in Wyoming, I’m living with James now,”

“Right. Yeah. That’s great,” Kevin replied. Really, that should have been more interesting to him, but Connor looked more attractive than usual. Or maybe he always looked that good and Kevn just never appreciated his freckles enough, “can I...can I take your order?”

“Two iced coffees, please,” Connor said, his voice sounding strange.

Kevin nodded and scribbled something down on two cups. He didn’t seem to be able to look away from Connor. 

“Your drinks will be at the end,”

Mercifully, there was no one in the line behind them so Kevin could stare. He watched them take their seats, laughing about something.

When he was sure that no one was watching, Kevin grabbed his phone from beneath the counter and sent a panicked text to Arnold.

_“_ **_911!! 911!! Connor AND Elder Thomas at work!! Send help!!”_ **

He watched Connor and Elder Thomas for a while longer before sending a second text.

_“_ **_Also, I think Chris and James are a thing?? Did you know this???_ ** _”_

It was five minutes before Arnold text back.

_“_ **_Just got off work. I’ll be there in ten,”_ **

**_“There’s no point then!!! That’s when I finish my shift!!!”_ **

**_“Yeah but I want to see Chris!!! It’s not all about you Kev!!!!!!!”_ **

Kevin wanted to text back that in _this_ circumstance, it was very much all about him but decided against it. Instead, he shoved his phone in his pocket and took the last couple of orders, trying his best to not be so obvious in the way he stared at Connor. He could not lie and say that his heart didn’t skip a few beats whenever they made eye contact.

It was quite a relief when Arnold finally showed up and made quite a show of how happy he was to see Chris. Kevin couldn’t tell if he was exaggerating or not but it was a welcome distraction from staring at Connor non-stop.

“Kevin Price!” Arnold shouted, waving at him, “come sit your ass down! I know you’ve finished work?”

Kevin grinned sheepishly at him, “I’ll be there in a minute!”

It was a strange thing, to both want to hang out with Connor (and the others, but mainly Connor) and also really not want to. Kevin took his time in clocking out of work, half hoping that someone would sit in the empty seat next to Connor but luck was not on his side (or was it?). He awkwardly lowered himself into the chair besides Connor and raised his hand in creating.

“Hey,”

“This is fun!” Chris said happily, clapping his hands together, “it’s almost like being in Uganda again, isn’t it?”

“Just less hot,” Connor said.

Kevin laughed, “I still don’t know how I dealt with that heat,”

“I don’t know how I didn’t burn to a crisp!” Connor exclaimed with a giggle, “I’m honestly far too Irish for that amount of sun!”

“At least your freckles are cute,” Kevin said, before he could stop himself.

Connor froze in the act of drinking his drink and Kevin felt his face heat up. Thankfully, neither Arnold nor Chris seemed to have heard this because they were both laughing loudly about something that Elder Neely had done back in Uganda.

“Sorry,” Kevin said quickly, “I shouldn’t have - never mind,”

“It’s fine,” Connor said quietly, “I don’t mind,”

He reached out and placed his hands on Kevin beneath the table, giving it a small squeeze. Slowly, Kevin turned his hand around so that his palm was facing up. Connor interlocked their fingers and the breath caught in Kevin’s voice. He wasn’t exactly sure what was happening, but he wasn’t going to start complaining about it. And he certainly wasn’t going to ask in front of Arnold and Chris.

“Norway really wants to see you, Chris!” Arnold said happily, typing quickly on his phone, “she’s at a student bar downtown. Wanna go? Kev? Are you coming?”

Kevin shook his head, “ _No._ I can’t drink like students. I’ll pass,”

Chris laughed, “Oh, what I would do to see the Kevin Price drunk. Are you coming, Connor?”

Their hands were still joined under the table, and Kevin gave Connor’s hand a quick squeeze, as though begging him to stay.

“No. I think I’ll stay here for a while,” Connor replied, “you still have that spare key, don’t you?”

Kevin waited until Arnold and Chris were safely out of the way to speak to Connor. Once the door shut behind them, he rounded on Connor who now wasn’t looking at him.

“What’s going on, Connor?” he asked, holding up their hands and waving them about as though Connor wasn’t aware they were holding hands, “with _this_?”

Connor looked up at him and smiled.

“I, um, I...I think I made a mistake,” he said quietly, “when you asked me out and I said no...that was a mistake,”

Kevin didn’t know what to say. He had been expecting an answer very difficult to the one he just got. He felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach, but in the best way.

“I should have said yes,” Connor continued, “and - and I would like to say yes now, if you’ll have me,”

“Connor, I...” Kevin trailed off, suddenly unsure of what to say.

Connor sighed and dropped Kevin’s hand, shaking his head.

“You’ve moved on, haven’t you? Which is fine, of course,” he added quickly, “I wasn’t really expecting you to wait around for-“

Kevin grabbed the front of Connors t-shirt and yanked him towards him, their lips clashing awkwardly. Kevin then came to the quite horrific realisation that Connor wasn’t kissing him back and jerked backwards, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

“Sorry!” Kevin exclaimed, praying that none of his co-workers were watching, “I thought you meant you wanted - sorry, maybe I should go home,”

“No!” Connor said quickly, lurching forwards and grabbing Kevin’s hand, pulling him towards him again and speaking softly, “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting it,”

Kevin blinked at him, somewhat stupidly.

“So, you _do_ want to kiss me?”

Connor grinned at him and responded by kissing him. It was only Kevin’s second kiss, his first being with Brian - something that he had grown to regret - but this was different. Connor was gentle, caring, even. He had one hand interlocked with Kevin’s and the other cupping his cheek. Kevin hesitantly placed a hand on Connors thigh, hoping that it wasn’t too intimate.

Kevin wasn’t sure if it was a second, a day or an eternity when they pulled away. All he knew was that he wasn’t bored of kissing Connor McKinley and was quite sure that he never would be.

“That was a long time coming,” Connor whispered.

“The longest,” Kevin agreed. He smiled slightly, “so, are we gonna go on that date now?”

Connor beamed, and Kevin was sure that he had never seen a more beautiful sight.

“We’re going to go on that date now,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they finally kiss!! 
> 
> Thanks for reading, comments and kudos appreciated as always <3


	14. More Important than Sex

Dating Kevin Price was much better than Connor could have ever imagined. When he woke up in the morning to find Kevin curled up beside him, his fringe falling over his forehead, almost covering his eyes, he could not believe had had gotten so lucky. Connor usually spent these mornings gently brushing his fingers through his boyfriends hair until he woke up. 

“You know, the more you play with my hair, the more likely it is that I fall asleep again,” Kevin muttered groggily, burrowing his face into the crook of Connor’s neck, lightly peppering him with kisses.

“It’s a good job neither of us are in work today then, isn’t it?” Connor replied, still running his fingers through Kevin’s hair. 

Kevin didn’t say anything, he just curled up closer to Connor, his hand brushing against his crotch. At first, Connor wasn’t sure if he’d done this accidentally but when he glanced down at Kevin, his eyes were wide open and he was smirking slightly. 

“Kev...” Connor whispered, “where’s Arnold?”

“He spent the night at Nabulungi’s place. Her roommate was out,” Kevin whispered back, his hand drifting back down to Connor’s crotch, rubbing ever so slightly. 

Connor moaned slightly and bucked up into Kevin’s touch. In the three months that they had been together, they had never gone all the way, only ever exchanging blow jobs and jerking each other off. Connor wished that they could bite the bullet and actually do it, but after the story that Brian had told him, Connor was more than happy to wait for Kevin. He had never even told Kevin that Brian had told him what had happened between the two of them. 

“Uh, Con? Are you even paying attention?” Kevin asked, nudging him slightly. 

“Sorry, babe,” Connor replied, “spaced out for a second, there,” 

Kevin pouted, “Am I not making you feel good?” 

“Oh, no, it’s not your fault,” Connor said hurriedly, encircling Kevin’s waist with his arm and moving on top of him, “you always make me feel good, baby,” 

Beneath him, Connor felt Kevin’s cock twitch and something suddenly occurred to Connor. 

“Do you like it when I tell you how good you are, Kev?” Connor asked, careful not to rub against Kevin just to make sure his theory was correct, “do you like to know how much of a good boy you are? And how beautiful you look underneath me?”

Kevin whimpered, nodding his head. 

“Yes,” he gasped, “Yes. Please,  _ please _ , tell me,” 

Connor grinned and dropped his lips to Kevin’s neck, indulging in the feeling of his boyfriend writhing around beneath him, their dicks occasionally brushing together. 

“Con,” Kevin sighed, “Con, please, I want you to - I need you to-” his words were replaced by a loud moan as Connor slipped his hand beneath the waistband of Kevin’s pyjamas, his hand closing around his dick. 

“You need me to do that?” Connor asked, beginning to move his hand up and down, “like this?”

Kevin groaned and nodded, “Yeah. Yeah. That,” 

“Moan for me, baby,” Connor said, “I want to hear you,” 

Like always, Kevin didn’t disappoint. He bucked his hips upwards, moaning loudly. Connor felt his own dick twitch in response to the sounds that his boyfriend was making, and he dropped his hips onto Kevin’s, thrusting slightly for some release. 

“You sound amazing, Kev,” Connor whispered into his boyfriend's ear, “ _ You’re  _ amazing,” he nibbled on his ear lobe, relishing in the fact that he was able to reduce someone as confident as Kevin Price into a sweaty, moaning mess. 

Connor soon got carried away, and his hand dropped lower, his finger tracing Kevin’s entrance. Kevin yelped and his knee jerked up, catching Connor in the stomach. 

“OUCH!” Connor yelled, rolling off of Kevin and almost falling out of bed. 

“Sorry!” Kevin exclaimed, sitting up straight and grabbing Connor’s arm, pulling him up, “Sorry, Con, I didn’t mean to hit you!” 

“Well, you did!” Connor snapped, more harshly than he wanted to but his stomach was  _ really  _ hurting. It was only when he looked up at Kevin’s tearful face that he realised how harsh he had been.

“Oh, Kevin, sweetie, don’t - don’t cry!” Connor said, hesitantly cupping his face, “hey, look at me,” 

Kevin shook his head, shoving Connor’s hands away and burying his face in the pillow, his body shaking with sobs. 

“Kevin,” Connor whispered, moving closer to him but not touching him, “Kev, I know - I know that this has happened before, and it’s OK. You’re obviously uncomfortable with it and I should have asked if you wanted to. This is my fault,”

Kevin sat up and turned to look at Connor, confusion etched on his face. 

“Brian told you?” 

Connor blushed and nodded, “When he came into work with a black eye, it was sort of hard to not ask...”

Kevin burst into sobs again, and Connor could no longer hold back. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and was relieved when he didn’t pull away, but pressed his face into his chest. 

“I need to tell you something,” Kevin said after a while, sounding as though he was recovering from a particularly bad bout of the flu, “something...something important,” 

Connor gently put his hand under Kevin’s chin and lifted his face up, kissing him softly. 

“You can tell me anything, Kev,” 

“The reason I’m so uncomfortable with anything below...you know is because...um...do you remember when you were baptizing everyone in the village?” 

Connor frowned and nodded. 

“Well, I wasn’t around because...I tried to convert the General but he didn’t take it well so he...he...” Kevin dissolved into sobs again and Connor prepared himself to hear the worst. 

“What did he do to you?” 

“He got a Book of Mormon and he forced it up my ass,” he sobbed into Connor’s chest, gripping onto his t-shirt like it was a lifeline, “he fucking _ assaulted _ me, Connor!”

Connor could not think straight, rage burned through him in a way that he had never felt it before and he wanted nothing more than to get a flight back to Uganda and find the General and just...do  _ something.  _ He wanted to do something that would stop Kevin Price from ever feeling terrible again. 

“Kevin, I am so sorry...I shouldn’t have dismissed you because Arnold had finally gotten through to the Ugandans...I  _ failed  _ as your District Leader and I don’t think I can ever-”

Connor was cut off by Kevin pressing their lips together. 

“Please, Connor, for the love of god, don’t try and blame yourself for this. It’s my own fault for-”

“No!” Connor exclaimed, “ _ No.  _ Don’t you dare try and blame yourself for this!” he placed a gentle kiss on Kevin’s head, “you are not at fault here,” 

Kevin didn’t reply, he just kissed Connor again. 

“Thank-you,” 

“What for?” Connor asked.

“For not freaking out on me,” Kevin whispered, “for not expecting anything from me,”

“If you’re never ready, then that’s fine by me,” Connor told him, and he wasn’t lying. 

Kevin scoffed, “Don’t be stupid, babe. Sex is an important part of relationships and if I can’t satisfy you...”

Connor rolled his eyes. 

“ _ Please,  _ I could come from you just  _ looking  _ at me. In fact, I think I did once actually, do you remember when-”

Kevin nudged him in the side, laughing. 

“I’m being serious, Connor!”

“So am I!” Connor exclaimed, “do you not remember the time I’m talking about? We were at my apartment and-”

“Connor!”

“Sex is an important part of a relationship, but do you know what is even more important? Loving each other. And I love you, Kevin Price,” 

“I love you, Connor McKinley,” 

Connor smiled and lay back down in bed, holding Kevin close to him and wishing that he could solve all his problems. 

“Do you think if I call Arnold and ask him to pick up breakfast for us he will?” Kevin asked. 

“He’ll be too distracted with Nabalungi,” Connor said, “I’ll go and get us something. What do you want?” 

At least hunger was one problem that Connor could solve for them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listen, Kevin Price has a praise kink and no one can tell me otherwise 
> 
> (thanks for reading)


	15. I'm Gay, Elder Price, Get Over It

Kevin was a big believer in self care, hence why he stood in the staff room and acted his little heart out so that Stacey would send him home early. He only wanted to go home early because Connor had invited him over, and only good things could come of that. 

“You do sound terrible, Kevin,” Stacey sighed, “you might as well go home,” 

“Are you sure?” Kevin asked, putting his best anxious voice on, “there’s not that many people in today and I think that it might get busy later,”

Stacey shook her head, “I don’t want you infecting everyone else,” 

“I’ll make it up to you,” Kevin promised. 

“Just go and get better, Price,” 

Kevin flashed her what he hoped was a smile that conveyed how  _ very _ sick he was and rushed out of the shop, practically running all the way to Connors apartment. Ever since he had confessed what had happened in Uganda with the General, their relationship seemed to have strengthened and Kevin realised that there was no one he felt safer around. 

“You’re not meant to finish work for another five hours!” Connor exclaimed when he opened the front door. 

“Are you not happy to see me five hours earlier than expected?” Kevin asked. 

“Of course I am,” Connor grinned, grabbing Kevin’s hand and pulling him into the apartment. 

Kevin yelped slightly as Connor snapped the door shut by pinning him against it and kissing him as though they had not kissed for years. Not that Kevin minded, of course. He let himself melt in Connor’s arm and could already feel a tightness in his pants as Connor’s bulge rubbed against him. 

“Connor, I think we should-”

A knock on the door interrupted him and he scowled. 

“Well, that’s not annoying,” 

Connor laughed and began to bite and suck at his neck, “Ignore them. They’ll be gone-”

There was another knock and Connor pulled away, frowning. 

“Who’s that bothered to-”

Another knock. 

Kevin swore under his breath and pushed Connor off of him. 

“Well, we’re going to have to answer now or I’ll be distracted all night,” 

Just as Kevin opened the door, Connor pinched his bum and he gave an involuntary squeal. 

“Hello, my name is Elder Price and this is Elder-”

“Jack?” Kevin gasped, taking a step back and almost knocking Connor over. 

Jack Price was stood in the doorway, wearing a missionary uniform and, for the first time, Kevin understood why everyone always said that they looked so alike. He looked older,  _ much  _ older, then the last time Kevin had seen him; he must have started going to the gym because he was no longer the scrawny kid that Kevin remembered. 

It was only when Connor cleared his throat behind Kevin that he remembered he had a raging boner and his neck was littered with hickeys. 

“K-Kevin,” Jack gasped, “what are you doing here?” 

“I’m, uh...I live in San Diego now. Arnold and I - do you remember Arnold? Well, you would have known him as Elder Cunningham,” Kevin babbled, awkwardly dropping his hands to his crotch to try and hide any evidence of what had been happening before he had opened the door, “after mom and dad threw me out I just wanted to get away from Salt Lake City, so...”

Jack nodded. His eyes kept flickering down to Kevin’s neck. 

“This is, um, this is Elder Cright. My mission companion,” 

Kevin suddenly felt the weight of unbearable sadness. His brother had started his mission and he had no idea about it. He should have been there to give him adivce. 

“Do you want to come in?” Connor asked, peering over Kevin’s shoulder. 

Jack glanced at Elder Cright who just shrugged his shoulders. 

“Great!” Connor exclaimed, clapping his hands together and Kevin couldn’t help but notice him slip back into Elder McKinley as he lead them into the living room, “come through, Elders, come through! Take a seat! Would you like anything to drink?” 

“Water is fine,” Jack said, looking between Kevin and Connor, “Elder Cright?”

“Yeah, I’ll have the same,” 

“Um, I’ll help you, Connor,” Kevin said quickly, hurrying after him into the kitchen and closing the door behind them. 

“Stop freaking out,” Connor said before Kevin could even begin to say anything. 

“How can I not freak out?” Kevin hissed, pouring coffee into a mug for himself, “my brother is out there! My very Mormon brother is sat in my  _ boyfriends  _ living room when I am extremely horny!” 

“It’s not my fault that you’re horny,” Connor shrugged, filling two glasses with water, “could you do me a coffee as well, love?”

“How is it not your fault that I’m horny?” Kevin snapped, trying his best to keep his voice down, “you pinned me against the door and started making out with me!”

Connor smirked at him and Kevin knew what was coming before he even said it. 

“I’m sorry, Kev, but you’re just so good to me. Leaving work early just so you could see me,” Connor whispered, pouring another mug of coffee, “you look so beautiful when you’re all hot and bothered, do you know that?”

“Connor, I swear to Heavenly Father if you don’t stop-”

“I don't know what you’re talking about, dear,” he said, opening the kitchen door and nodding towards the tray on the counter, “can you get that for me?”

“You are the  _ worst _ , McKinley,” Kevin whispered as he passed him. 

“Am I?”

Kevin ignored him and placed the tray of drinks on the coffee table. Jack and Elder Cright stared at Kevin and Connor with equally incredulous looks. 

“Are you drinking coffee, Kevin?” Jack asked. 

“Yeah,” Kevin replied, picking his mug up, “I’m not in the Church anymore, remember? I can do crazy things now, like drink coffee,”

He didn’t mean to sound so bitter, but the sight of his younger brother in a uniform that had not brought Kevin much joy did not put him in a good mood. 

“Yeah, you also seem to be able to have a boyfriend as well,” Jack said, a hint of disgust in his voice. 

“You got a problem with that, buddy?” Kevin asked, trying to keep his voice light. 

“Ever so slightly, yeah,” 

Kevin shrugged, “You having a problem isn’t really my problem. Connor and I are very happy together,” 

Jack narrowed his eyes at him, but the look of contempt was quickly replaced with a look of sympathy. Kevin wasn’t sure which one he preferred. 

“What happened to you, Kev? One minute you were the perfect kid who could never put a foot wrong, and then you go to Uganda and everything changed! What happened to you there, man?” 

Kevin felt Connor’s arm snake around his shoulders as he stared down at the mug in his hand. 

“Kevin!” Jack snapped, “what happened?”

The Generals hands were on him again, and he could hear their laughter again. 

“Drop it, Elder,” Connor said firmly. 

“You must have been the one to corrupt him, then!” Jack exclaimed. 

Kevin couldn’t help but laugh at this. He had not been aware that it was possible for someone to say something so stupid. 

“Something funny, Kevin?” Jack asked through gritted teeth. 

“There is something slightly funny about the fact that you think that Connor ‘corrupted’ me. I’m gay, Jack, get over it,” 

“Elder Price,” Jack corrected.

Kevin rolled his eyes, “I’m gay, Elder Price, get over it,” 

“An abomination, that’s what you are!” Jack hissed. 

Elder Cright shifted awkwardly in his seat and cleared his throat. 

“You know, there are treatments that can stop you from-”

“There’s no treatments that change your sexuality. Believe me, I’ve tried them all,” Connor interrupted. 

An awkward silence fell across the living room and Kevin moved closer to Connor, and rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. He saw a look of disgust flicker across his brothers face and he couldn’t help but marvel at how quickly their relationship had changed. There was a time when you rarely saw one Price brother without the other. 

“If mom and dad knew, they would be devastated,” Jack said, “and Olivia. She cried for weeks after you left. Katie was bullied in school because of what you did,”

Kevin shrugged his shoulders, deciding to ignore the last comment about his little sisters. 

“I don’t think mom and dad give a shit about me. If they did, they wouldn’t have thrown me out,” 

Jack reached into his pocket and took out a Book of Mormon, holding it out to Kevin. 

“I know you didn’t take one when you left,” 

“And I’m not going to take one now,” Kevin snapped, swatting it away. 

“Choose the Right,” Jack said suddenly. 

“What?”

“Choose the Right,” Jack repeated, “that’s the motto you used to live by; you said it used to help you live righteously. You’re not living righteously anymore,” 

“I have a new motto now: Hasa Diga Eebowai,” 

Next to him, Connor laughed quietly. 

“What does that mean?” Elder Cright asked. 

“Fuck you, God,” 

Anyone outside of the apartment might have thought that there had been a small explosion with the sounds that the two Missionaries made. Elder Cright jumped out of his seat with a yell and Jack shouted, “Oh my gosh, Kevin! You can’t just saying something like that!”. Kevin didn’t care. He was now more than aware of where he stood with both his family and the Church and was more than happy to turn his back on them. 

“I think it’s time we go,” Jack muttered angrily, “come on, Elder.”

“Elder Price,” Kevin called out as the two Elders stalked out of the room, “do you love me?”

“Excuse me?”

“I said, do you love me?” Kevin asked. 

“Of course I love you, Kevin. You’re still my brother despite...despite what you’ve become,” 

Kevin laughed quietly and shook his head. 

“See, I don’t think you do,” Kevin replied, “because if you really did love me, you would be glad that I’ve finally found happiness. But you aren’t. You’d much rather me be miserable as an Elder, wouldn’t you?”

“Life was easier then,” Jack admitted. 

“For some of us,” 

Kevin and Connor sat in silence after the door slammed shut behind Elder Price and Elder Cright. Kevin could not even find it in himself to call his own brother by his first name, because he did not believe that the Jack Price he knew would talk to anyone in the way that he just did. Connor occasionally kissed Kevin on the cheek or on the neck, but never pushed for more.

“Connor, I want to do it. Tonight,” 

Kevin watched in amusement as Connor choked on his coffee. 

“You want to - you want to do what?”

Kevin grinned and straddled Connor, slowly started to grind on him. 

“You know what I want,” 

“Are you sure, love?” Connor asked, already sounding breathless, “A lot happened today and-”

“I know. That’s why I want to do it,” Kevin interrupted, “how is this-” he gestured between the two of them, “-an abomination? And how is the way that you’re going to make me feel an abomination?”

Connor nodded slowly, but Kevin could tell that he still wasn’t sure. 

“I know you’re thinking about what the General did to me,” Kevin said, “but I want to make different memories... _ happier  _ memories, and I trust you. I know that you’ll make me feel good, Con. You always make me feel good,” 

Connor stared at him for a few more seconds and then nodded, a smile spreading across his face. 

“Can we at least go to the bedroom? Other people do have to sit on this couch,” 

Kevin awkwardly clambered off Connor and allowed himself to be lead into the bedroom. Connor tugged at the bottom of Kevin’s t-shirt, and he held his arms above his head and allowed Connor to take it off for him. 

“Wait,” Kevin said quickly, “I don’t want to end up being the only naked one,”

“I think you just want me to strip,” Connor said with a smirk, but taking his t-shirt off anyway and beginning to unbuckle his jeans. 

Kevin grinned and propped himself up on his elbows so that Connor could still comfortably lean down to kiss him. Connors hands wandered to Kevin’s belt and he hovered above the buckle for a moment. 

“Can I?” 

“Yeah,” Kevin replied, his boner now getting close to painful, “Please, Con, I need you,”

Connor dropped his lips to Kevin’s neck whilst he undid his belt and pulled his jeans down. Kevin let out a breathy moan as Connor began to rub him over his underwear. He bucked up into Connor’s hands, wanting more. 

“You’re so eager, aren’t you?” Connor whispered into Kevin’s ear, sending shivers down his spine, “Are you feeling, alright?”

Despite everything, Kevin rolled his eyes. Only Connor would still worry that someone wasn’t alright when they were moaning as much as Kevin was. 

“I’m fine, Connor,” Kevin said, flipping them both over so he was on top of Connor, “I’d tell you if I wasn’t,” 

“Promise?” Connor asked, running his hands up and down Kevin’s sides. 

“I promise,” Kevin whispered, leaning down and sucking on Connor’s neck, grinning as Connor began to moan. 

Kevin began to move down Connor’s body, flicking his tongue over each of Connor’s nipples.

“ _ Jesus _ , Kev,” Connor gasped as Kevin’s hands drifted underneath the waistband of his underwear, “that feels am- _ ah _ !-zing” 

Kevin looked up at Connor and winked before pulling his underwear down and settling himself in between his legs, moving them apart slightly. Kevin took Connor in his hands and licked up his length, circling his tongue around his head. Connor swore under his breath and his hands were in Kevin’s hair, tugging at it. 

“Ah!” Kevin exclaimed, lurching back from Connor, “S-Sorry, can you - can you not pull my hair? You can touch it or whatever but it just reminds me of...you know...”

Connor sat up and smiled, brushing his hands through Kevin’s hair but not pulling at it. 

“Of course, babe,” he said softly, “whatever you need,” 

Kevin smiled at his boyfriend and dropped his head back down to Connor’s dick, taking him fully in his mouth. Connor groaned and thrust his hips upwards, moaning Kevin’s name over and over again. The sound was like music to Kevin’s ears and he wanted the moment to last forever. 

“You’re incredible, Kev,” Connor moaned, “you’re so good. K-Keep on going, just like -  _ oh, god  _ \- keep on going, just like that, baby,” 

A few more minutes passed and Connor asked Kevin to stop. 

“Are you OK?” Kevin asked, panicked, “Did I do something wrong?” 

Connor smiled and took Kevin’s hand, pulling him up and kissing him softly. 

“You’ve done amazingly, Kevin,” he said, “I just don’t want to finish yet, and you were doing so well that I almost did,”

Connor put his arms around Kevin’s waist and layed him down on his back, pressing soft kisses to his cheeks and forehead. Kevin knew what was coming and willed himself to stay calm, Connor wasn’t going to hurt him and he’d stop if Kevin really wanted him to. They would be fine. He would be fine. Everything would be fine. 

“Are you ready?” Connor asked him, brushing his thumb over Kevin’s cheek, “If you don’t want to-”

“I already said that I wanted to,” Kevin said. 

“Can you just tell me that you really want to? It’ll make me feel better,” 

Kevin looked into Connors eyes and smirked. 

“Connor, I want you to fuck me,” 

The look on Connor’s face was priceless and Kevin almost wished that he could take a picture so that he could remember the moment was ever. 

“Jesus, Kevin,” Connor laughed, dropping his head onto his chest. 

“You asked me!” Kevin exclaimed. 

Connor looked up at him and kissed him, still giggling slightly. 

“I know. It was just unexpected. Unexpected but hot,” he added. He kissed Kevin again and reached into his drawers, pulling out a condom and a bottle of lube. 

“I love you, Kevin,” Connor whispered, putting the condom on, “this is going to be OK. I promise,” 

Kevin nodded, “I know it is. I trust you,” 

He watched as Connor squirted lube onto his fingers and lowered his hand to a place that Kevin never thought he would ever let him touch. 

“If you want me to stop, tell me, punch me, kick me, do whatever.” Connor said softly, “are you ready?”

“Ready,” Kevin replied, throwing his head back and shutting his eyes. 

Kevin felt a slight pressure as Connor inserted the first finger. His first instinct was to fight it, but he forced himself to lie still as Connor slowly began to pump it in and out. Fear was very quickly replaced with pleasure and Kevin arched his back, wanting more. No,  _ needing  _ more. 

“Kev, are you OK? Talk to me, love,” Connor said, stopping moving his hand, “Kevin. I need to know. Is it too much?”

“No,” Kevin gasped. 

Connor withdrew his finger and Kevin whimpered. 

“It’s too much?” Connor asked. 

“No,” Kevin repeated, “it’s not enough. I need more, Connor, please,” 

Connor smiled at him and whispered sweet nothings into his ears and he inserted a second finger. 

“You’re so beautiful, Kevin. You’re doing so well for me, honey,” Connor whispered, “what do you want? Tell me what you want,” 

“I want - I want... _ ah, Jesus! _ ” he completely forgot what was happening for a moment when Connor’s nimble fingers hit just the right spot, “I want...I want you inside me, Con. Please, please,  _ please.”  _

He whimpered at the loss of Connor’s fingers but it was a short lived feeling for moments later, Connor thrust into him and Kevin all but screamed in pleasure, throwing his head back as Connor kissed his neck. 

“Ah, shit, Connor, just like - yeah, please. Connor, Connor,  _ Connor!” _ he moaned, “ _ Fuck,  _ I love you so much, Connor,”

Being on his feet for eight in work the next day was not the most enjoyable thing that Kevin had ever experienced, but  _ god  _ it was worth it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading! This chapter was a bitch to write for some reason, but I somehow managed it. 
> 
> All comments and kudos are appreciated as always <3


	16. Help His Sun Rise Again

Over the past few months, Connor had learned a lot. He had learned that the best way to deal with horrible customers was to just smile through the pain and then talk shit about them the moment they left the shop, that Arnold Cunningham snored so much that Connor wasn’t sure that he didn’t have a medical condition and that the best way to get Kevin going was to tell him how amazing he was. 

Now he was learning that booking plane tickets to Uganda was incredibly difficult. The idea of having a District 9 reunion in Uganda had seemed great until they had to work out how they were actually going to get there. Kevin and Arnold were both being incredibly unhelpful. They were sat facing each other on the couch and trying to throw pieces of chocolate in each others mouths, something they were both terrible at. Only Nabalungi was helping him, but it still wasn’t made any easier with her help. 

“The cheapest flights are with Delta,” Connor announced to the room at large, “so I think we should just-”

“Not buy the tickets?” Kevin interrupted. 

Connor frowned at him, “I thought you wanted to go to Uganda?” 

“I do, just not with Delta,” Kevin replied whilst Arnold nodded along enthusiastically. 

“That’s who we flew with when we went on our mission and it was  _ terrible _ .” Arnold said, “Really crowded, really hot and they ran out of food halfway through the flight. I thought I was going to die,” 

“If we fly with someone else then we’ll have to pay like...a thousand more dollars,” Connor said. 

Kevin shrugged, “I’m OK with that. I’ll just pick up extra shifts at work,” 

“Do you understand how much money a thousand dollars is, Kev?” Connor asked. 

Kevin rolled his eyes, “Obviously, but I’m still not flying Delta,” 

After an almost but not quite argument, they finally found tickets that suited them. They had to do one extra layover than if they had just gone with Delta but Connor supposed that if it meant Kevin and Arnold wouldn’t explain the entire 30 hour flight, it would be worth it. 

“Can we all agree to not leave packing our bags to the last minute?” Nabalungi asked. 

“No,” Kevin and Arnold said in perfect unison. 

Nabalungi sighed and turned to Connor, shaking her head. 

“How did we end up with two complete idiots for boyfriends?”

\---

The District 9 reunion was a good idea, there was no denying that. It was nice to see Chris and James so obviously in love and to see Neely and Michaels giggling like they had never been apart, it was just that Connor wasn’t sure how he felt about the fact that they were wearing missionary uniforms and calling each other ‘Elder’ again. He stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, dabbing at the sweat on his forehead. He could not quite believe that he had worn the uniform in this heat for 2 years. 

“Connor? Can I come in?” came Kevin’s voice through the door. 

“It’s unlocked,” Connor replied. 

“I forgot how cute you look in your uniform,  _ Elder _ ,” Kevin grinned, coming up behind him and putting his arms around his waist. 

“Shut up,” Connor blushed, leaning into Kevin’s arms, “this is weird, isn’t it?” 

“What is?” Kevin asked, resting his chin on the top of Connors head. 

_ “Us,”  _ Connor replied, “here! In the mission hut, like this,” 

Kevin smirked and began nibbling at Connor’s neck.

“I don’t know. We’ll be doing worse later,” 

“Kev...” Connor whispered, “We - we can’t. Not here,” 

Kevin spun Connor around so that they were facing each other. 

“What?” 

“We - it’s too dangerous. Do you know what happens to people like us here?”

“Well, yeah, but not  _ here,”  _ he said, gesturing around the bathroom, “Everyone here follows the Book of Arnold and-”

But Connor shook his head. 

“And what if they agree with everything but the beliefs on homosexuality? What if they bring family or friends from outside of the village?” Connor asked, “I - I don’t want to risk it. They kill people like us, Kev,” 

Kevin dropped his hands from Connor’s waist and took a step back, nodding curtly. 

“OK. I understand,” 

“It’s nothing personal,” Connor said quickly, “I just don’t want to get hurt. I don’t want  _ you  _ to get hurt. I wasn’t sent here on my mission by accident. They did it on purpose,” 

Kevin nodded and smiled, but Connor could tell that it wasn't genuine. 

“Honestly, I understand, Elder McKinley,” he said. 

“Why are you calling me that?” 

“We’re not doing this-” he gestured between the two of them, “here, are we? Better say than sorry, Elder,” 

For the first time since they had started dating, Kevin left without kissing Connor. He usually wouldn’t even go from the living room into the kitchen without a quick peck on the lips. 

“Well done, McKinley,” Connor muttered, “You’ve pissed your boyfriend off so much, he won’t even say your name,” 

Two hours later, they were in the hall where the reunion was being held, and Connor pretended that the fact he and Kevin weren’t completely ignoring wasn’t a problem. 

Uh, are you and Kevin OK, Connor?” Chris asked, sidling up to him.    
  


“Yeah, we’re fine, why wouldn’t we be fine?” Connor asked, speaking too quickly for it to be believable.    
  
“Because he’s all the way over there with Arnold and you’re all the way over here with me,” Chris said.    
  
“You were my mission companion, can I not-“   
  
“Cut the shit,” Chris sighed, “it’s too hot for an argument,”    
  
“I told him that we couldn’t be so obviously together because we’re here,” Connor said, “and then he got pissed off at me for it,”    
  
“I’d get pissed off at you for it,”   
  
“We could be killed!”   
  
“Not here!” Chris exclaimed, “you know Arnoldism protects us from that and all the Elders believe in the Prophet 100%. When James and I first arrived, the first question we asked was how everyone felt about us, and no one gave a shit! They were happy for us,”   
  
“Oh,” Connor said softly, “oh. I didn’t...I didn’t realise,”   
  
Chris rolled his eyes, “now go hold your boyfriend's hand. He looks like a lost puppy next to Arnold and Nabalungi,”    
  
“I think I need to give him some space,”   
  
“I don’t think Kevin Price believes in you giving him space,”    
  
“He called me  _ Elder McKinley.  _ Wouldn’t even say my name!”   
  
“Connor!” Arnold exclaimed suddenly, interrupting Chris, “I mean, uh, Elder McKinley! I need you!”   
  
“I’ll be with you in a moment, Elder Cunningham!”    
  
“No, I need you now!”    
  
“ _ Nothing  _ has changed,” Connor muttered angrily to Chris, “not one thing has changed! He’s still interrupting us every time we try and have a conversation!”

“Wouldn’t change him for the world though, would you?”   
  
“Can I help you, Eld - Kevin!”    
  
Kevin was leaning against the wall, doubled over as though he was in pain and as Connor approached him, he could hear him crying.    
  
“Kev?” Connor said quietly, hesitantly placing a hand on his shoulder, “Kevin. Look at me. What’s going on?”    
  
But Kevin did not seem to want to speak. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. Connor frowned and looked up at Nabulungi who had tears in her eyes.    
  
“What’s going on?” He demanded, “is he hurt? Someone get Elder Gotswana!”    
  
“No, it isn’t that,” Nabalungi whispered, “look who it is,”    
  
Connor, still not taking his hand off Kevin’s shoulder, straightened up and looked around. At the far end of the hall, talking to Elder Ghali, was Elder BFN. The General looked up, made eye contact with Connor and smiled at him.    
  
“Why the fuck is he here?” Connor snapped, rounding on Arnold and Nabulungi, “why did you invite him?”    
  
“We didn’t!” Arnold exclaimed, “we didn’t send out invites, we just invited all the Elders!”    
  
“You should have said he wasn’t allowed to come!” Connor yelled, “why didn’t you think it through?”    
  
“Con,” Kevin whispered, tugging on his tie to get his attention, “Connor. Stop yelling, please stop yelling, I don’t like it when you yell, it’s like him. You sound like him,”    
  
Connor’s heart dropped to his stomach when he realised that Kevin was sobbing properly now, and it was partly his fault.    
  
“Alright, Kevin, I’m sorry. I won’t shout anymore, but I need you to stand up straight for me, can you do that?” Connor asked, stroking Kevin’s hair, “Kevin? Can you stand up for me?”    
  
It took him a few minutes but Kevin was soon stood up, his eyes red and puffy. Connor smiled at him and reached up to wipe his eyes, but Kevin jerked away from him. Slightly hurt, Connor dropped his hand to his side and took a step back.    
  
“OK,” he said, trying to mask the awkwardness. He noticed Arnold and Nabulungi exchange a worried look, but elected to ignore it, “OK, we’ll just go back to the mission hut and-“   
  
“Elder Price! It’s been a while,”    
  
“No”, Kevin whimpered, “no, no, no. Get him away for me. Get him away for me “    
  
Connor spun around to see the General walking over to them, holding his arms wide as though expecting a hug. At once, Connor planted himself in front of Kevin who was gripping the back of his shirt with such strength that Connor was worried he was going to rip it off.    
  
“Elder BFN, I think you should leave,” Nabalungi said, holding her head high and marching over to him.    
  
The General raised one eyebrow at her, “and why is that, Sister Hatimbi?”    
  
“Because - because...” she trailed off and turned to look at Connor who shook his head.    
  
“Because I said so!” Arnold piped up, “and I am your Prophet!”    
  
“I only wanted to speak to Elder Price,” the General said, frowning.    
  
There was something about these words coupled with the quiet crying of Kevin that enraged Connor. Maybe Arnold had made him watch too many ridiculous superhero movies, or maybe he had completely lost his because before he could fully register what he was doing, Connor dove at the General, somehow pulling him to the floor. Screams rose up around them as Connor straddled the General and began raining punches down on his face, his neck, his chest, any body part that he could reach.    
  
“Connor! Stop!” Chris yelled, “what are you doing you weirdo?”    
  
Then there were hands on his arms pulling him up.    
  
“Elder McKinley,” said the soothing voice of Mafala, “come now. Leave the General alone,”   
  
“He hurt him!” Connor yelled at Mafala, tears stinging his eyes, “he hurt him! He hurt him!”    
  
“Alright, Elder, alright. Perhaps it is best if you follow me, come on now. I think...I think I should speak to the Elder on his own,” he added to Nabulungi who went to follow him.    
  
“Of course, Baba,” she said.    
  
Connor glanced behind him to look at Kevin, who was just staring at him with a blank expression. Had he made a mistake?    
  
“Take a seat, Elder,” Mafala said when they reached his hut.   
  
Shaking, Connor sat down. The adrenaline was beginning to wear off and he found breathing to be a lot more difficult than it usually was. Unless breathing had always been difficult. He couldn’t quite remember.    
  
“What happened back there?” Mafala asked, “that was very unlike you,”   
  
“I - I...I hate him,” Connor muttered, running a hand through his hair, “I’ve never hated anyone more and I needed to do... _ something _ ,”    
  
“Did he hurt Elder Price?”   
  
Connor looked up at Mafala and nodded once, feeling terrible for breaking Kevin’s trust and telling someone. Tears sprang to his eyes again and he looked away.    
  
“You don’t have to tell me how or why or when,” Mafala said kindly, placing a hand on Connors shoulder, “but...I would like to know if Kevin is still hurting,”    
  
“So much!” Connor sobbed, “and I can’t - I can’t fix it! He has nightmares and panic attacks and sometimes he can’t leave his apartment for days and I don’t know what to do! I want to help him, Elder Hatimbi, more than...more than anything! But I don’t know how! I love him  _ so _ much, but I can’t...I can’t fix him!”    
  
“It is not your job to fix him, you just need to be there for him,”   
  
“I haven’t been there for him whilst we’ve been here. I’ve been pushing him away,” Connor admitted, “because I still think that God is going to strike me down for loving him,”   
  
“God doesn’t strike down anyone who loves another. No matter who they love,”   
  
“I know,” Connor said, “I know...I just...I don’t know how to be there for him sometimes, I don’t want to say,”   
  
“When my wife died, Nabalungi was devastated. It broke her heart, broke her soul and I did not know what to do. My beautiful, bright star had been reduced to a shell of a human. She did not speak and she barely ate,”    
  
“What did you do?” Connor asked. He had never heard Nabalungi speak about the death of her mother in much detail.    
  
“One day, she was sitting outside at sunset, watching it go down. And she cried because the light was going away, only to be replaced by darkness. So, I woke her up the next morning before the sun was up and we watched it rise together. We watched the light eat away at the darkness,” Mafala said, “and that’s what we did from the on - we woke almost every morning to watch the light replace the dark,”    
  
Connor frowned, “so, you want me to wake Kevin up really early?”    
  
Mafala laughed, “No! I don’t think he would appreciate that. No, I want you to help his sun rise again,”   
  
“How am I meant to do that?”   
  
“You show him that you love him,” Mafala said simply, “And it’s more than you just telling him ‘I love you’ in the morning. You have to show you do; when you see he’s getting sad, hold him, make him a coffee, make his favourite food, remind him of a happy memory. Buy him flowers, just...show you care. Of course, you should still do this when he’s not sad...yes, me and my wife were married for twenty years when she passed...all I did was love her...you should go and find him, Connor. Make sure that he’s OK,”   
  
“Thank-you, Mafala.”    
  
“I am rooting for you both, Connor,”   
  
When Connor got back to the village hall, he found that the atmosphere was different. People stared as he walked in, but he did his best to ignore them and instead focused on trying to find Kevin.    
  
“He’s not here,” Arnold said, “he went back to the mission hut,”    
  
“On his own?”    
  
“Elder Church is with him,”    
  
“R-Right,” Connor replied, “I’m gonna go and-“    
  
Nabalungi grabbed his hands, “Perhaps you should give him some space?”    
  
Connor shook his head, “No. I need to be there for him,”    
  
He did not wait for Nabulungi to reply and ran from the village hall, all the way back to the mission hut. By the time he got there, every muscle in his body felt like it was burning and his face was flushed but it didn’t matter. He needed to find Kevin.    
  
“Kev? Kevin? Where are you?”    
  
There was a noise from upstairs and then James appeared at the top of the stairs.    
  
“Here he is! Captain  _ fucking  _ America!”    
  
Connor scowled at him, “Not now, James. Where is he?”    
  
“In your room,”   
  
“Can I see him?”    
  
“I don’t know. Let me ask,”    
  
The wait was agonising. It might have lasted two minutes or two years, Connor wasn’t sure.    
  
“He wants to speak to you,” James said, beckoning him upstairs, “he’s pissed off though,”    
  
“As is his right,” Connor muttered, opening the bedroom door and hesitantly walking in.    
  
Kevin was sat on the two beds that they had pushed together, his legs drawn up to his chest with his arms wrapped around them. He was staring out of the window and through the light of the moon, Connor could just about see the tear tracks on his face.    
  
“Kevin, I’m so sorry,” Connor said, keeping his distance, “I shouldn’t have attacked him. I should have just thrown him out. I’m sorry,”    
  
“I thought you were going to break up with me,”    
  
Connor was taken aback.    
  
“What?”    
  
“I thought you were going to break up with me. All this trip, you’ve seemed so...uninterested. And then in the bathroom before, I really thought that was it...that you were finished with me,” Kevin said, his voice hoarse from all the crying, “I thought you didn’t care about me anymore. I know I’m a lot to deal with. I cry all the time and sometimes we have to stop having sex because I can’t deal with it even thought I’m probably the one who started it. I’m sorry. It’s OK, you know. If you want to break up with me. It’s fine,”    
  
“Kev...” Connor sighed, “I’m not breaking up with you. I love you. I was just prepared to  _ kill _ someone for you,”   
  
“I wish you didn’t do that, Connor, because now people are going to wonder why,”    
  
Connor hung his head in shame, “I know, Kevin, it was stupid of me. I just...he said your name and I...I hated it. I’m sorry.”    
  
“I don’t like seeing you like that. Violent, I mean. You’re not meant to be violent. You’re meant to be soft and kind and gentle,” Kevin said, “he’s meant to be violent. Not you. You really scared me, Con,”    
  
Connor did not know what to say. The last thing he wanted was to scare Kevin. He had just wanted to be there for him, to make sure that he was OK.    
  
“I don’t know how I’m ever going to make up for it,”    
  
Finally, Kevin looked over at him.    
  
“Stay with me,”   
  
“Of course, sweetie,” Connor breathed, walking over to the bed and holding out his arms to Kevin, “I’ll stay forever,”    
  
Kevin moved towards Connor and curled up beside him, interlocking their legs. He buried his face in the crook of Connor’s neck and snaked his arms around his middle. Connor slowly ran his fingers through Kevin’s hair, occasionally kissing the top of his head until they both fell asleep.    
  
It was only when Connor woke up the next morning that he realised he couldn’t remember the last time he had had a Hell dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii, this chapter was an absolute bitch to write, but shout out to three (3) cold brews for helping me get through it. 
> 
> Commnets/kudos/feedback/more cold brew is appreciated! <3


	17. Inspired by Hell Dreams

“You look so good like this, Kevin,” Connor whispered, nibbling on his neck, “You’re so beautiful,” 

They had been back from Uganda for a while and things were... _incredible._ They had decided that they were moving in together after Arnold and Nabalungi had made that same decision, Connor had gotten a new job working with homeless youth and Kevin had applied to college to study to finally fulfil his (secret) lifelong dream of becoming a teacher. They were celebrating putting a deposit down on a new apartment in the best way that they could: Connor had let his imagination run free; inspired by the fact that his new job required him to wear a suit and tie (and a fair few of Kevin’s Hell dreams), Connor had tied Kevin’s hands above his head and to the headboard with one of Connor’s ties. 

Kevin let out a tiny moan as Connor’s hand drifted down to his crotch. 

“Connor, p-please, more,” 

Connor grinned and kissed Kevin softy, gently rubbing him over his underwear. 

“We’ve got all night. You don’t want to rush into anything, do you?”

Kevin whimpered and shook his head, “N-No, but I need - _ah_ \- I need -” he was interrupted by Connor’s phone ringing, “I need to put your phone on silent,” 

“Ignore it,” Connor said, moving his hand faster. Kevin gasped and bucked his hips upwards, trying to get more from him. 

“Jesus Christ,” Kevin moaned, pulling on his restraints. Everything felt more heightened with his hands tied together, “Connor, I need you to-”

His phone started ringing again and Connor swore. 

“-put my phone on silent?” 

Kevin sniggered, “do you think we should _turn it off_?” 

“I might just leave you here for that comment,” Connor muttered, sitting up and crossing his arms. 

Kevin narrowed his eyes at Connor, unable to tell if he was joking or not. 

“That was a joke, right?” 

Connor simply smirked at him and Kevin squirmed on the bed. 

“Connor!” Kevin exclaimed, “Come on!” 

“I could never leave you here, Kev. Not when you look _this_ good,” Connor said, moving close to Kevin again and lightly trailing his fingers down Kevin’s bare chest, “Not when you’re making _those_ sounds,” 

“F-Fuck,” Kevin groaned as Connor’s hand disappeared under the waistband of his boxers, “If you don’t hurry up and do something, then I’m going to come before - JESUS CHRIST!”

The phone started ringing again and Connor’s hand became still, which was perhaps the most disappointing thing that had happened to Kevin in a long time. They sat in silence whilst the phone rang out, almost as though they were hiding from it. Connor groaned and looked down at Kevin. 

“I’m going to put it on silent and then suck your dick,” 

“Well, thank fuck for that,” 

Connor tutted and got off the bed, hurrying over to his phone. Kevin watched as he picked it up and frowned at it. 

“What is it?” 

“Unknown number,” Connor shrugged, putting it on silent and dropping it into the desk drawer, “Where was I?”

“You were about to suck my dick,” 

“Oh yeah!” Connor said brightly, practically skipping over to the bed and settling himself between Kevin’s legs, “don’t come yet though,” he added in a much sterner voice, “I want to see how long you can last,”

After the first quick lick to his head, Kevin wasn’t sure he would last too long. When Connor licked up his entire length and then took him fully in his mouth, it took all the willpower in the world to not let go there and then. 

“ _Jesus,_ Connor,” Kevin gasped, throwing his head back as waves of pleasure took over his body, “I don’t know what you’re doing but - _ah -_ keep on - keep on - _fuck -_ keep on going,” 

Just as Kevin was about to finish, Connor removed his mouth from Kevin’s dick with a flourish. Kevin whined at the loss of contact and heard Connor snigger before he started to kiss up Kevin’s body, nibbling and biting as he went. One hand drifted up to brush over his nipples whilst the other simply rested over his cock, not providing the relief that Kevin needed. 

In an attempt to get said relief, Kevin began to grind against Connor’s hand but it was short lived. Connor moved his hand from Kevin’s crotch and instead placed it firmly on his thigh, stopping him from moving. 

“I said you’re not coming yet,” 

Kevin whimpered as Connor’s tongue swirled over his nipple whilst his hand remained defiantly on his thigh. 

“Con, _please,_ ” Kevin whined, “stop teasing, it’s not fair,”

“You’re so beautiful, Kevin,” Connor said, trailing his hand up and down Kevin’s chest, “you’re so good for being so patient for me,” 

“I think I hate you a little bit right now,” Kevin groaned. 

Connor laughed. 

“Give me five minutes and you won't,” 

Five minutes later, Connor proved him right. Kevin all but screamed as Connor thrust into him, hitting _just_ the right places. 

At some point, Kevin must have blacked out because the next thing he knew, he was no longer tied to the headboard, was fully clothed and was curled up next to Connor who was rubbing some sort of cream into his wrists. Kevin looked down at his wrists and frowned for they were quite red. 

“How tight did you tie me up?” Kevin asked, sitting up and resting his head on Connor’s shoulder. 

“Sorry, who was the one who was all ‘ _Oh, Con, tie it tighter, come on, tighter! Tighter!’_ ” Connor said in an annoyingly good impression of Kevin’s voice, “it’s hardly my fault you’re ridiculously kinky!”

“This was your idea!” Kevin protested. 

“I know,” Connor said softly, kissing Kevin on the temple, “you’re alright though, aren’t you? I didn’t go too far, did I?” 

Kevin grinned and kissed Connor. 

“No, it was _perfect,”_

“OK, I’m just making sure. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” 

“You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me, babe,” Kevin said, putting his arm around Connor’s shoulder and pulling him into his chest, “If something wasn’t OK, I’d tell you,” 

Connor snaked his arms around Kevin’s waist and closed his eyes, “Just making sure,” 

Kevin smiled and lazily ran his hands through Connor’s hair, wondering what he’d done to get so lucky. 

“I can still hear that damn phone vibrating,” Connor grumbled. 

“Can you _please_ just answer it?” Kevin asked. 

“It’s only an unknown number, though,” Connor sighed, walking over to the desk, “so it’s probably on a scam or - _Jesus Christ_!”

“What?”

“It’s - it’s my mom!” 

“No, Connor, love, thats your phone,” 

“No! Thats my moms phone number!” Connor exclaimed, holding up his phone, “why is she ringing me?” 

“I don’t know! Call her back!” 

Looking rather like a man who was about to walk to his death, Connor held the phone to his ear and cleared his throat. 

“Uh, hello?” 

Kevin clicked his fingers at Connor and mouthed, “ _loud speaker,”_

Connor nodded and dropped the phone onto his bed. 

“Connor, is that you?”

“Y-Yeah,” Connor replied, his voice shaking, “Yeah. It’s m-me, mom,”

“Where are you?”

“Why do you care?” Connor asked, an unusually steely note in his voice. 

On the other side of the phone, Connors mom sighed. 

“I just wanted to tell you that your father has passed,” 

Kevin clapped his hands over his mouth as he looked at his boyfriend, his face completely blank. 

“Oh,”

“And your Grandmother wants you at the funeral,” 

“Right. Ok,” Connor said, “can you just text the date and everything so we can book the time off work?”

“Who’s ‘we’?”

“My boyfriend and I,” Connor replied. 

“You’re going to bring him?” his mother asked. 

“Yes,” Connor snapped, “I am, and if you can’t deal with it, then it really isn’t my problem. I’ll see you next week,” and he hung up the phone before looking up at Kevin, “you don’t actually have to come, I just wanted to say that to piss her off,” 

Kevin shook his head and moved closer to Connor, pulling him into a hug. 

“I want to be there for you, Connor,”

“I’m not ready to talk about it yet,” 

“And that’s alright,” Kevin said, “we can talk about something else...like how I’m never going to be able to look at that tie the same way again,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kevin Price + Connor McKinley, kings of having annoying family members ruining the mood 
> 
> Thank-you for reading!!! <3


	18. Hell Won't Be So Bad If You're There, Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!TRIGGER WARNING!! Mention of conversion therapy!

Connor sat at his desk on Monday morning wondering how his life had ended up the way it had, even the massive pile of case files that seemed to be taunting him weren’t a big enough distraction. Whilst he waited for his too old computer to turn on, he knocked on the door of his manager's office.    
  
“Everything alright, son?”    
  
Connor flinched slightly at the nickname. Edward was an old British man and called everyone son. It hadn’t bothered Connor until that point, though he wasn’t sure if calling someone ‘son’ was a British thing or not.   
  
“Yeah. I just need Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off next week. Sorry it’s such short notice,”    
  
Edward shook his head, typing something into his computer.    
  
“It’s alright. Are you and Kevin going away?”    
  
“Something like that,” Connor muttered, “I have to go back to Wyoming...my dad died yesterday,”    
  
Edward froze in a way that was almost comical.    
  
“I’m sorry to-“   
  
“You don’t have to be sorry,” Connor said, “I’m - I’m not sorry,”    
  
“Take the week off and get Kevin to do the same,”    
  
“Oh, I don’t need-“    
  
But Edward held his hand up to silence him, “You’re a hard worker, Connor and this week is going to be hard for you. Just get through the funeral and then spend time with your boyfriend. You deserve it,”    
  
“Thanks, Ed,”    
  
“Actually, Connor, why don’t you just go home? Did you sleep last night?”    
  
Connor shrugged, “I don’t know, not really. Sort of...drifted in and out of sleep for a bit,”

This was not entirely true. It was less drifting in and out of sleep and more waking up every half hour in terror after dreaming of conversion therapy. Thankfully, Kevin slept like a rock and didn’t wake up at any point during the night. Really, this was quite an achievement considering that conversion therapy dreams were often worse than Hell dreams. 

“I know your relationship with your dad wasn’t the healthiest. Just go home,” 

“I’ll make it up to you,” 

Ed smiled sadly at him, “I know you will, mate. Get going now,” 

Instead of going home, Connor walked to Kevin’s work; a pointless task considering that Kevin would be too busy working to spend time with him. Connor just wanted to see him for a while, no matter how brief that it might be. 

“Hey, welcome to - oh, hi babe!” Kevi beamed and leant over the counter to give Connor a quick kiss, “what are you doing here?” 

“I got sent home from work. Ed took pity on me. I just wanted to see you,” Connor blushed suddenly, realising how stupid he sounded, “Sorry, I’m being ridiculous. My head is all over the place,” 

Kevin sighed and placed his hand on Connors, squeezing it slightly. 

“I’ll make you and drink, get you some food and take my break and-”

“Sorry, this is really cute and everything but I would like to be served at some point today,” said an angry voice from behind Connor. 

Kevin tutted. 

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but my boyfriend is having a bad day,” 

“I’ll be making sure that you’re both having a bad day in a minute,” the woman snapped. 

“Just go and sit down, Con. I have a half an hour break in ten minutes,” Kevin said quietly, casting a weary look at the woman in line, “I’m guessing you want an Iced Latte and a chocolate brownie?”

Connor grinned, “You know me so well,” 

Ten minutes later, Kevin joined Connor at the table they always sat at, carrying a tray of food and drinks. 

“I managed to get an extra fifteen minutes for my break!” he announced triumphantly. 

“How?”

“You annoyed Stacey into it, didn’t you?”

“Yep!” Kevin said brightly before turning serious and putting his arm around Connor, “do you need me to take the rest of the day off?”

Connor shook his head and wiped his eyes. The last thing he wanted to do was cry. 

“N-No. I just...everything's weird. My dad was ill before I left for Uganda and I thought...I really thought that before he went he’d apologise,” Connor sniffed, “for...for everything,” 

Kevin's arm tightened around Connor and he placed a soft kiss on his cheek. 

“Why don’t you ask Chris and James to meet us after the funeral? At least then you'll have something to look forward to,” 

Connor nodded, dropping his head onto Kevin’s shoulder. 

“Yeah. I’ll see...I’ll see if they can,” 

“I’m sure Chris will. He’d walk over hot coals for you,”    
  
Connor didn’t say anything, he just moved closer to Kevin. He had not expected the death of his father to affect him in the way that if had, especially after years of not thinking about him. He had not even been there when Connor had been disowned. Soon, he was crying and realised that he could not stop.    
  
“Hey, hey, hey, look at me,” Kevin said softly, putting his hand under Connors chin and raising his head, “it’s _OK_ if you don’t feel sorry about the fact that he’s dead,”    
  
“I think I’m mourning the dad I never had,” Connor whispered, aware of the fact that people were staring but not really caring, “all I ever wanted was a dad who cared about me and loved me and didn’t send me to conversion therapy,”    
  
“Are you sure you don’t want me to-“   
  
“I’ll be fine, Kev,” Connor said as Kevin wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his jumper, “just...just don’t be late home?”    
  
Kevin smiled and leaned in to kiss him.    
  
“You know I run from this place as soon as it’s half past 5,”    
  
“You’re so-“    
  
“Nope!” Kevin exclaimed, “do not say what you’re about to say to me, Connor McKinley. I am at work and I am  _ trying _ to be professional,”   
  
“I was just going to say that you’re so good for-“   
  
Kevin shut him up by kissing him and Connor couldn’t help but laugh into the kiss.    
  
“I’m just teasing,”   
  
“That’s worse,” Kevin muttered, his cheeks turning red.    
  
Connor smirked and leaned in to kiss Kevin again. They stayed like that for a while before Kevin pulled away and glanced down at his watch, pouting slightly.    
  
“I need to get back to work,”    
  
“What a mood killer,” Connor sighed.    
  
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come home with you?”    
  
“Honestly, Kevin, I’ll be fine. I might get Arnold or Naba to come round and keep me company until you get back,”    
  
Kevin kissed him again and walked him to the door, “text me when you get home, yeah?”    
  
Connor rolled his eyes, “Yeah, Yeah,”    
  
“Connor. I’m being serious.”    
  
“Kevin, I promise I will text you when I get home. The moment my foot cross the threshold of the apartment I will text you,”    
  
“Sarcasm doesn’t suit you,”    
  
“And the line of angry customers at the counter doesn’t suit you, babe,”

\-----

Connor stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom of the cheapest hotel room that they could find in Wyoming, pulling at his suit and cringing at the way he looked. His hair looked wrong, his freckles looked weird and the suit looked like it belonged to someone else. The door opened behind him and Kevin walked in, looking perfect, of course. 

“How do you do it?” Connor asked him.    
  
“Do what?” Kevin asked, reaching over Connor to grab the hair wax.    
  
“Look so good all the time?”    
  
Kevin narrowed his eyes at Connor in the mirror as he ran the wax through his hair.   
  
“Are you trying to get me going right now?”    
  
“No!” Connor exclaimed, “for once, I’m actually not. I just...you look good and I look like shit,”    
  
Kevin dropped his hands to his side and frowned, “Con...are you...are you being serious?”    
  
“Never mind,” Connor said, casting his eyes to the ground, “I’m being stupid. Ignore me,”    
  
But Kevin didn’t seem to want to drop the subject. He put his arms around Connors waist and rested his chin on his head.    
  
“Talk to me,”    
  
“I’m worried about what my family is going to think. It’s been nearly three years since all my cousins saw me and my aunties and uncles have never been anything short of insulting,” Connor babbled, “and I’m worried they’re going to think I’ve let myself go. I mean, I know I’ve put on a bit of weight that I should probably lose and my hairs just the biggest mess that it’s ever been and, we’ll, I’ve always been ugly but-“   
  
“Shut up,”    
  
Connor stared at Kevin, affronted.    
  
“Excuse me?”    
  
“You heard me,” Kevin said, “you’re not ugly, Connor,”    
  
Connor smiled at Kevin, “You don’t have to try and make me feel better,”    
  
“You’re not ugly,” Kevin repeated, “You’re gorgeous. Beautiful. Pretty. All of the above. You're freckles are my favourite thing in the entire world,”   
  
“Kev...” Connor whispered as Kevin began peppering kisses to his neck before beginning to nibble slightly at his skin, prompting a moan from Connor, “Kevin!”    
  
Kevin jerked back, “What?”    
  
“Look at the state of my neck!” he yelled as a bruise began to form there.    
  
“And?” Kevin asked, “I’ve left worse -oh, shit. I forgot,”    
  
“Oh, you forgot we’re going to my father's funeral in an hour? How convenient,” Connor muttered, clapping a hand over his neck, “What in the name of Heavenly Father am I going to - oh,  _ wait _ ,” Connor turned around to face Kevin, a smile spreading across his face. 

“What?” 

Connor all but pounced on Kevin, his lips attacking Kevin’s neck. Kevin yelped and fell backwards into the wall. 

“Fucking hell, Connor!” Kevin yelled, though Connor could feel him relaxing into his grip, “what are you - what are you doing? I mean, I’m not complaining but this is a very strange change of -  _ oh  _ \- this is a strange change of mood,”

Connor pulled himself off Kevin and looked up at him, grinning. 

“I’m going to be so obnoxiously gay that it ruins my dads funeral,” 

“I don’t know how good of an idea this is,” Kevin said. 

Kevin was not reacting in the way that Connor had expected him to do. 

“Why?” 

“Don’t you think we should be somewhat respectful?” 

Connor jerked away from Kevin, “Are you being serious right now?” 

“I - we’re going to a funeral, Connor!” 

“Yeah, my  _ dad's  _ funeral!” Connor snapped. 

“He’s still your-”

“No!” Connor yelled, “don’t you  _ dare _ tell me that he’s still my dad, Kevin! Do you - you have  _ no  _ idea, no fucking clue what it was like! Do you know - my  _ god,  _ you never had to - do you know what it’s like to have your own damn father look you in the eyes and tell you that he’d rather have a dead kid than a gay kid?” 

“Connor, I -”

“Do you know my conversion therapy was like?” Connor asked furiously, “do you have any idea?”

Kevin shook his head silently. 

“I was punched, slapped, pinched and kicked. I had water thrown over me, I was yelled out for hours on end for three years straight, Kev! And my parents just let it happen! So, fuck you for thinking that I need to show him some respect!” 

“P-Please stop shouting,” Kevin whispered, “I’m s-sorry, I shouldn’t have - just stop shouting,” 

“Oh, Kev, I’m sorry,” Connor said hurriedly, “I didn’t mean to - it’s hard to talk about and, I'm the worst, I'm so sorry for shouting,” 

“I know,” Kevin replied, “I was wrong or suggesting that you should respect him. I had no idea what you went through,” 

“I don’t like talking about it,” 

Kevin moved towards Connor and wrapped his arms around him. They stood like that for a while, enjoying the feeling of their bodies pressed together in a way that was so intimately innocent. Connor just wished that his dad could have understood that their love wasn’t something to be attacked, but to be embraced. 

Unsurprisingly, they did not last long at the funeral. Upon arrival at the graveside, two of Connor’s aunts gasped at the sight of him hand in hand with Kevin, who acted as though he did not notice this and went around introducing himself to various family members. Connor’s most annoying cousin, Joshua, then said something so offensive that Kevin accidentally swore at the top of his voice.

“What a disgusting young man!” Connor’s mother exclaimed, "and what on _earth_ is that on his neck?"

“Has she never heard someone say the word ‘fuck’ before?” Kevin whispered to Connor. 

“It’s no wonder that Connor turned out the way he did,” she continued, “and to think that there was a time when we actually thought his therapy was going to work!”

Connor bit down on his lip and turned to look at Kevin, a really quite terrible plan forming in his mind. 

“Should we show my dear mother how much my therapy  _ didn’t  _ work?” 

“Uh, Connor, I might not be Mormon anymore but even I draw the line at getting a boner in the grounds of a church,” Kevin muttered. 

“Do you trust me, Kev?” Connor asked. 

“Of course I trust you, but if you try and turn me -  _ oof!”  _

Connor cut him off by grabbing his face and kissing him. Kevin responded almost immediately, putting his arms around Connor’s waist and pulling him closer. As always, Kevin put one hundred and ten percent into what he was doing and dipped Connor, much to the disappointment of the extremely Mormon congregation around them. 

“This is one of the weirder places that we’ve made out,” Kevin said breathlessly, standing them both up straight again. 

“We’re definitely going to Hell, aren’t we?”

“Hell won’t be so bad if you’re there, baby,”

Deep down, Connor knew that he would miss his family. He would miss watching his sisters grow up, would miss spending time with his cousins and would miss listening to the stories that his grandad would tell and he might even miss his mother. But as he sat curled up besides Kevin in Chris and James’ apartment, he realised that there was much more to family than just a shared last name. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank-you for reading!!!


	19. Home Is Where Connor McKinley Is

Kevin needed his parents. 

Even though he spent many nights complaining that he didn’t need them and cursing their names, he realised that sometimes all he needed was a hug of mom. Not that he was going to admit this to anyone, of course, he wouldn’t even admit it Connor. 

“Do you know what I’m gonna do?” Kevin said to Connor one evening when he began his weekly rant about them, “I’m gonna change my last name to get as far away from them as possible!”

“How do you feel about the name McKinley?” Connor asked casually. 

“How do I - _what_?”

“The last name McKinley, how do you feel about it?” 

Kevin stared at him. He thought he knew what Connor was talking about but was worried that he was reading too far into it. 

“Connor, are you - are you _proposing_ to me?” 

“Well, this isn’t exactly how I imagined doing it but...” Connor reached into his pocket and brought out a little box, “and I know we technically can’t because it’s not legal yet but...Kevin Price, will you marry me? Eventually,” he added.

Kevin couldn’t help himself and burst into laughter, clapping his hands over his mouth. 

“Well?” Connor asked. 

“Yes!” Kevin exclaimed, still giggling, “Of course I’ll marry you!”

Later that same night, Kevin lay in bed and held his hand up in front of the face, staring at the golden band that now sat on his finger. Connor was curled up besides him fast asleep, his arm flopped over Kevin’s stomach. He had never been happier, but he felt as though he might have been even happier if his parents were around to share in his and Connor’s happiness. 

And it played on his mind, constantly. 

It hit him the hardest as he stood in the stationary aisle of Target, three weeks before starting college. He twirled his engagement ring around his finger, realising that he had no idea what he actually needed to buy and could do with a hug of his mom and a bit of advice from his dad. How many folders would he actually need? How many notebooks was too many notebooks? Did people even use notebooks anymore or did they just type up their notes on a laptop? Kevin was quite sure that his laptop was inching closer and closer to death but he couldn’t really afford to buy another one for a while. 

His brain racing almost as quickly as his heart, Kevin snatched his phone out of his pocket and rang Arnold who, mercifully, picked up after three rings. 

“Hey, buddy!”

“Are you at home?” Kevin asked, fighting to keep the anxiety of his voice. 

“Yep!” 

“Is Naba there?”

“Yep!” 

“Can I come over?” 

“Sure thing!” Arnold said happily, “everything OK?” 

“Uh...I’ll explain when I get there. See you in a minute,” 

The best thing about Arnold was that he never asked too many questions and seemed more than happy to let Kevin pace up and down the living room, ranting and raving about his parents. Even Nabulungi didn’t get angry at him for being so distracting when she was trying to write an essay for college. She simply closed her laptop and allowed him to get everything off his chest. 

“...and I know I don’t have to worry about the wedding yet because we’re not even allowed to get married but is it so bad that I want them to come?” Kevin asked furiously, “is it so bad to want my dad to walk me down the aisle?” 

“Of course it isn’t bad, Kevin,” Nabulungi said patiently, “family is important to you. There’s nothing wrong with that,” 

“And I just...I miss them,” he admitted, “before Uganda, before Jack went on his mission my life was...my life was perfect,” 

“It was perfect for who you were then, I don’t think it’s perfect for who you are now,” Arnold said quietly. 

Kevin groaned and flopped down onto the couch, his head in his hands. 

“I _know_ , Arn,” he sighed, “I just wish that they could see what I see. I wish that they could see that I’m better suited to life outside of the Church and that I’m happy with Connor and-” his voice broke, “-and I just want them to be here for me, man. I’m starting college and hopefully getting married and I want them to be there for all of that!”

“Maybe it’s time to reach out to them, bud,” Arnold said quietly, “just call them. Ask if they’ll come to visit,” 

“They’ll probably say no,” 

“You’ll never know unless you try,” Nabulungi said, “they might surprise you,” 

And surprise him they did. A week before he was set to start his classes, the Price family landed in San Diego. His mother insisted that they did not need to be picked up from their airport, and Kevin had the strangest feeling that this was because they were trying to spend as little time with them as possible. 

“Alright,” Kevin said, walking into the living room that they had had to turn into a dining room, “Everythings ready. The oven is heating up, all the wine is non-alcoholic and I put a picture of Jesus up,” 

Connor frowned, “Why?”

“I don’t know. I panicked,” 

“Calm down, love,” Connor said softly, standing on his tiptoes to place a gentle kiss on his forehead, “I think they’re aware that we aren’t living the perfect Mormon life,”

Kevin laughed and put his arms around Connor’s waist, “What, you’re saying that two men living together _isn’t_ okay in the eyes of the Church?”

“I believe it’s generally frowned upon,” Connor said, “but I’m not _entirely_ sure,"

“They don’t even know we’re engaged,” Kevin said, picking up Connor’s hand and looking at the ring on his finger. He had felt bad about the fact that he had a ring but Connor didn’t so had gone out and bought him one. 

“We don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to,” Connor reassured him, interlocking their fingers and kissing the back of Kevin’s hand. 

Kevin shook his head, “No, I want them to know. Why should I have to hide who I am?”

“You shouldn’t,” Connor replied, “no one should,” 

There was a knock on the door and Kevin’s heart dropped to his chest. 

“Oh, Heavenly Father, strike me down now, just strike me down, please, I am ready, just do it, man. Go for it,” Kevin muttered as he walked to the front door and dragging Connor with him.

“Ready?” Connor asked. 

“Not at all,” Kevin said, plastering a smile onto his face and opening the front door. 

Just the sight of his family was enough to bring tears to his eyes; his sisters had grown up, possibly too much. Katie almost looked like an adult and Olivia was not the little girl that Kevin remembered. She might have even been wearing makeup. His parents looked no different, older perhaps, but the same as they had done when Kevin had stormed out of the house after being kicked out. 

“Hey,” he said, “Uh, thank-you for...thank-you for coming,” 

His father simply smiled at him, but Kevin couldn’t tell if it was a real smile or not. 

“Thank-you for inviting us, Kevin,” 

“Come in, I guess,” Kevin said, standing to the side and unconsciously folding his little finger over his ring finger so they could not see, “I’ll take your coats just...go through that door,” 

The Price’s took their coats off in silence and handed them over. Katie’s eyes lingered on Connor for a moment but she didn’t say anything. Once they had moved onto into the not quite dining room and Kevin and Connor were alone, Kevin turned to face his fiance. 

“This is ridiculous, isn’t it? A stupid idea!”

“No, of course not, Kev,” Connor whispered, “this is going to be good for you, whatever happens,” 

“Is it bad that I’m happy that Jack isn’t here?” Kevin asked quietly, hanging their coats up, "I know he's my brother and I do miss him but..."

Connor grimaced and shook his head, “ _I’m_ sort of happy that Jack isn’t here, but we should probably go and join them in there or they'll think we’re doing something...untoward,” 

“Fingers crossed we will be later,” Kevin muttered, “providing they don’t kill me,” 

In the living room/dining room, the four Price’s were awkwardly stood around the table as though they weren’t sure where to sit. 

“Sorry it’s so cramped,” Kevin said, “we don’t actually have a dining room so we had to improvise. You can just sit on the sofas until dinner is ready,” 

“Are you going to introduce us, Kevin?” Connor asked, nudging him slightly. 

“Oh, yes...um, OK, Connor these are my parents, Scott and Rita and those are my sisters, Katie and Olivia,”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Connor said, and Kevin noticed him slipping back into Elder McKinley, “I’m Connor, Kevin’s boyf-”

“Fiance,” Kevin corrected, holding up his left hand and wiggling his fingers, “This is Connor, my fiance,” 

The words hung in the air for a moment. 

“Fiance?” Scott repeated, “you’re....you’re going to get married?”

“We, uh, we hope so,” Kevin replied, grabbing Connor’s hand for support, “if the law allows it,” 

“Right...” Scott muttered, glancing at his wife, “that is...surprising,” 

“I’m happy for you, Kev,” Katie said loudly, “I think it’s nice. They say that the Supreme Court are probably going to legalize it,” 

“I’ve heard that,” Connor said, “I was going to wait to propose until after it was but trying to hide a ring from your boyfriend is more stressful than I thought it was going to be,” 

Scott laughed, “I know the feeling. I had to hide the ring for three weeks before I proposed to Rita,” 

“Can we come to the wedding?” Olivia piped up. 

Kevin opened his mouth and then closed it again, turning to look at his parents. 

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Rita said quietly, “it is against our Church,” 

Kevin cast his eyes to the floor, blinking back tears. Connor squeezed his hand and running his hand up and down his back. He had known his parents belief about marriage, he used to _agree_ with them, but it was different hearing it come out of his mother's mouth when he was holding Connor’s hand.

“It isn't going to be for a while anyway, so - Kev, where are you going?” Connor asked as Kevin stood up rather abruptly. 

“I’m going to get some drinks. Would anyone like anything?” 

“Kevin, honey, I didn’t mean to make you upset,” Rita said hurriedly, “but rules are rules and-”

“Forget it, it doesn’t matter,” Kevin said, “Connor’s right. We’re not getting married for a while so you have time to find it in your heart to actually give a shit about me,” 

“Kevin!” his father exclaimed, “treat your mother with some respect!”

“I’ll go and get the wine. It’s not alcoholic,” he added, deciding to ignore his dad, “Can you help me, babe?”

“Yes,” Connor said hurriedly, jumping up, “I’ll help,” 

Kevin slammed the kitchen door shut with such force that it splintered slightly. He should have known that this would not end well and never should have invited them over in the first place. The entire evening was just a disaster waiting to happen. 

“This was a terrible idea,” Kevin said to Connor, getting the wine out of the fridge, “why do I always convince myself that bad ideas are good ideas?”

“You don’t always convince yourself--”

“It’s like the General all over again!” Kevin exclaimed, forgetting to keep his voice down, “I convinced myself that a warlord would be more than happy to become Mormon and I ended up with a book up my ass! And then I get engaged, invite my _extremely_ conservative family over and get upset when they don’t want to come to our wedding? Honestly, what was I expecting? I must have three working brain cells, Connor!”

“Don’t you dare talk about yourself like that, Kevin Price!” Connor said sternly, “what happened with the General and what's happening with your family are two very different things but neither of them are your fault!”

“I wish I could believe you,” Kevin sighed, wiping his eyes and opening the kitchen door, “can you just grab that bottle for me?”

“What happened to you, Kevin?” Rita asked tearfully. 

“Huh?” Kevin asked, “what are you talking about?”

“What you just said to Connor in the kitchen,” Scott said, “about..about the warlord,” 

Behind him, Connor gasped and Kevin accidentally dropped the wine glasses on the floor. His mother stood up and tried to hug him, but he jerked backwards and fell into Connor who quickly steadied the two of them.

“I wasn’t - it was - it was nothing,” Kevin said quickly, “it’s a stupid inside joke from Uganda,” 

“You’re not joking, Kevin,” Scott said, “you’re still my son and I know when you’re lying,” 

“Is this why you are the way you are?” Rita asked quietly, jerking her head towards Connor. 

“Why do I always get blamed for you being gay?” Connor muttered. 

“No!” Kevin yelled, “No, Connor has nothing to do with - I was born this way, mom! I didn’t choose it!”

“Katie, Olivia, could you...could you maybe leave for a few minutes?” Scott asked, turning to his daughters, “this is an adult conversation,” 

“I’m not a child!” Olivia exclaimed. 

“You’re twelve,” 

“Well, I’m eighteen,” Katie said triumphantly, “So-”

“ _No_. You’re not being part of this conversation,” Rita snapped. She turned to look at Kevin and Connor, “is there anywhere they can go?”

“We have a spare room,” Connor said, “I’ll show them to it,” 

Kevin refused to speak about anything until Connor returned. The moment Connor sat beside him, Kevin automatically moved towards him. Had he been sitting any closer, he would have been sat on his lap, though he felt like his parents would not appreciate that. 

“Tell us, Kevin,” his dad said, “what happened to you?” 

“I tried to convert a warlord to Mormonism and he shoved a Book of Mormon up my ass,” Kevin said bluntly. 

His mother gave a great big gasp and burst into great, heaving sobs. His father's facial expression did not change and Kevin found that he was quite grateful for that. Connor put his arm around Kevin’s waist and gently kissed him on the cheek. Kevin closed his eyes at the feeling of Connor’s lips on his skin, fighting back the memories of the General. 

“Why didn’t you tell us when you got home from Africa?” Scott asked. 

“I tried,” Kevin replied, “but you were sort of busy disowning me,” 

Scott frowned at him and then sighed, slowly closing his eyes, “I...I remember. You said things in Uganda changed you and this is what...this is what you meant, isn’t it?”

Kevin wiped his eyes and nodded, “Can you blame me for not believing?” 

“Perhaps it would be best if you come home with us,” his mother said, dabbing at her eyes, “We spoke to your brother and he told us that you saw him...and he told us...he told us about what you said...that phrase,” 

Kevin rolled his eyes. 

“This is my home, mom. Here, with Connor,” 

“I’ve heard about this happening. Young men go through horrible, horrible things like you have and then homosexuals swoop in and take advantage of that,” Scott said, “and this one has done really well, hasn’t he? Convinced you to marry him and everything!”

“That’s bullshit, dad, and you know it!” Kevin yelled, “Connor hasn’t taken advantage of me! I’m the one who asked him out in the first place and he said no at first _because_ he didn’t want to take advantage!”

“Truly, Mr Price, I would _never_ hurt Kevin or force him into anything,” Connor said, “I love your son, more than...more than anything,” 

“I think it’s best that you leave,” Kevin said, standing up, “this was a bad idea,” 

“Kevin-” 

“No, mom, I just - I want you to leave. This isn’t working. I’m living a life that you don’t agree with and I’m not willing to change my entire life for you. I love Connor and he loves me. What’s so wrong with that?” 

“One day, I would like to put this behind us,” Scott said as he shrugged his coat onto his shoulders, “I would like to be a family again,” 

“That family would include Connor, can you handle that?”

“I don’t know,” 

“Bye, Kevin,” Olivia said, waving at him, seemingly oblivious to everything. 

“See you, Livvie,” Kevin said, fighting back tears. 

“Come here, Kev,” Katie said, pulling him into a hug before lowering her voice and saying, “I might be coming to join you here soon, given the fact that I’m a massive lesbian and all that,” 

“Given the fact that you’re a _what_?” Kevin asked, but she had already pulled away. 

“You’re my brother, Kevin, and I love you, but I also love my Church,” she said, winking at him, “I hope you’re happy with Connor, though,”

And they left, leaving Kevin both amused and confused. 

“I like Katie,” Connor said reasonably, “I don’t think your dad likes me, though,” 

“I don’t think my dad likes me,” Kevin muttered. He turned to Connor and sighed, “can we just order pizza and go to bed? I don’t feel like cooking,” 

“Sure thing,” Connor said, quickly kissing Kevin, “you go and get in bed. I’ll sort everything out,” 

They didn’t do much that night apart from eat pizza and cuddle, and Kevin realised that there was no where he felt safer than in Connor’s arms. As silly as it sounded, Kevin felt as though nothing could ever hurt him again, as though no one had hurt him. It almost felt as though he had never met the General. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Connor asked as Kevin began to cry into his chest, “Kevin? Look at me,”

“Nothings wrong,” Kevin said, looking up at his fiance and kissing him, “I’m just...I’m really happy,” 

“So am I,” Connor whispered, running his hands through Kevin’s hair. 

"Who'd have thought this is where we'd end up?"

"Want to watch the sunrise?" Connor asked suddenly, looking down at his watch, "I didn't realise what time it was,"

Kevin frowned at Connor but shrugged, "Sure," 

Although it was technically not allowed, they walked onto the roof of their apartment building that boasted a quite stunning view of San Diego. It looked even more beautiful this early in the morning. The usually murky water of the river was suddenly sparkling as the sun took the place of darkness, filling Kevin with the sort of warmth that he associated with stepping into a warm bath. He felt his face break into a large, unprompted grin as he glanced sideways as his future husband who's eyes were so bright they looked as though they contained stars. Connor caught his eye and smiled at him, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Stop staring at me, weirdo," 

"I've got a whole lifetime to stare at you, get used to it,"

_Ma'hanibu Eebowai_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH THE END!!!!
> 
> Thank-you so much to everyone who has read this and left comments/kudos, it genuinely puts a smile on my face!!! <3
> 
> Also, if you want to follow me on tumblr for some weird reason, you can do so here ---> E-Sawyer.Tumblr.Com
> 
> Thank-you again!!!! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank-you for reading! This is my first Book of Mormon fic so please be kind lmao. 
> 
> I finally went to see it last night after years of listening to the cast recording and now I'm back on my McPricely bullshit. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!


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